Somewhere, a generic fantasy game is missing its PC. |
Creature
features and sci-fi movies from the 50s and 60s feel like MST3K’s bread and
butter. So, a low budget sword and sorcery movie really stands out. And while Cave Dwellers has the best reputation of
the fantasy movies covered on the show, I think Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell may be the best wanna-be
Conan to be riffed.
Actually
the third in a series produced by Roger Corman, though largely unconnected to
the others, this entry begins with warrior Deathstalker putting on a show in a
quant medieval fair alongside wizard friend Nicias, who is busy predicting the
weather and goat health for local dirt farmers. But, Nicias approached by Carissa,
a woman with a magic stone that is definitely not a shiny glass doorknob. Hot
on her heels are a cadre of villainous knights, their leader wearing a spiffy
bat themed helmet, out for the gem. After seeking Deathstalker’s protection, he
fails and she’s promptly slain. But, Deathstalker finds her twin sister,
Elizena, a princess, who is engaged to the villainous Troxartas, (Thom
Christopher aka Hawk from Buck Rogers)
and who has the other stone. With these stones, Troxceratops can…be more
powerful? More evil? It’s pretty vague, as magic usually is in movies like
these. Either way, Truckasaurus also has the titular Warriors from Hell, slain fighters
whose souls he keeps in a wine jar next to the Sangria in the fridge and who
function more as high level, and very resentful, lackeys than as all powerful
warriors. This results in all manner of low rent fighting, cheap special
effects, a lot of low budget charm, and approximately one million Renaissance
Fair jokes.
Batman jokes vs. Monty Python jokes: which will win? |
There’s
so much that’s right about this movie,
or fails in the right way,that make it such a perfect candidate for riffing. Jon
Allen Nelson swings so hard for that Han Solo swagger and misses, but has just
enough charm to be a Diet Nathan Fillion-enjoyable hero; bad at seducing, bad
at fighting, fun to watch anyway. The sets aren’t very convincing, but they
have the sort of “let’s put ona show” charm MST itself often has. The women are
pretty, there’s some goofy fights, and the music, synth dredge that the late
80s and early 90s drowned in, sounds like Casio farts and manages to go from
bad to entertainingly bad. And then there’s Thom Christopher as the bad guy Troxartas,
hamming it up with weird delivery, outfits with either too short sleeves or
*gasp* no pants, and coming across like
an evil, balding Hank Azaria. The movie feels like a bad, failing play put on
by your friends, but they’re you’re friends, and you’re all drunk, so you’re having the time
of your lives. In the episode guide entry written for Satellite News, Kevin
Murphy pretty damn perfectly sums it up when he says, “It’s the perfect MST
film , one that fails on every conceivable level, fails so miserably that it
transcends failure and becomes a thing of sheer delight”.
Troxartas raising the dead and not wearing a full outfit. |
Murphy
also says it’s obvious he and many MST cast and crew loathed ren fairs, so
watching this is like going to a ren fair with Mike and the Bots: in other
words, a great time with hilarious friends. They make fun of everything, from
the sets to the weather of the Mexican locals to even the font used in the
opening credits (“Extra Stuff Germanic” Mike/Tom calls it). They laugh at the
sets, are repulsed by Deathstalker’s would-be ladykilling, and enthralled in
how ludicrous the entire endeavor is. It’s a smorgasbord of feelings, all of
them joyful. And their joy at riffing the movie permeates Every. Single. Joke.
They’re on fire in this one, throwing
out tons of jokes, most of which, but not all, are hilarious. I counted about 3
running gags involving their disgust with Deathstalker’s personality, the Bat
Helmets worn by Troxartas’ chief enforcer, and Trox’s home life style bickering
with his wife. And I also counted at least
three monty python references. If it had a musical number, an annoyingly
precocious kid, an annoying wacky sidekick, some ick factor and some rubber
monsters, they might as well have stopped the show here. Don’t think that movie
exists, though.
Renaissance Fairs: gussied up bank account robbers. |
Clayton? Clayton! Claydin! CLAYYUN! |
This
episode became a new favorite of mine at light speed. It’s only slightly under
some of my oldest and most beloved episodes, needing just a tad more of that
magic to make it a classic. But if you want to watch Mike and the Bots tear into
something different, hate renaissance fairs, or have never even seen an episode
before, this is a damn good place to start! Huzzah! (Had to get one in, sorry.)
Episode
in a Riff: Hell,
let’s go with three!
The
directors vision; confusion wracked with ambiguity. – Tom
This
movie’s like playing Doom, but
there’s no monsters or opponents. -CrowThis is one of the most ambitiously bad movies we’ve ever done. –Mike
Random
Asides:
-I’d
first seen clips of this episode back in college waaaay back in the days when
fans were just starting to put the show on YouTube. I didn’t watch, preferring
to wait for a DVD release. But damn, was watching it for the first time, and
waiting for the DVD, worth it
-S7
has a theme song I don’t here often, due to Season 7 being significantly shorter than the others. It's fun to see something different, though.
-SOL
starting to get darker visually too, leading into SciFi years
-I
Love Pearl, and seeing her and DrF bouncing off each other is good.
-Solid
acting from them in the first two segments. Crow’s mouth movements are smaller
and more subtle with his hairpiece, and quiver as the teen at the drive thru,
and servo has nice sharp breath intakes
-Somewhere,
sometime, members of MST3K all went to a renaissance fair. I can’t imagine a more fun
group to go with. That must’ve been amazing
-Who’s
the cutest: -cute princess, evil queen, or bow and arrow girl?
-Nancy Kerrigan IS pretty, Tom
-Is
that the Aztec from Pumaman as one of the guards around 25m in?
-Troxartas:
not sorry for not wearing pantr\s
-
Thom Christopher also played Hawk on Buck
Rogers, who is also the basis for Bird Person on Rick and Morty.
-Oh
my GOD THOM CHRISTOPHER IS IN WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM!
-Seeing
Thom Christopher talking about making this goofy movie and the hand made
parrying knife is heartwarming. His
love of his fellow actors,Terri Treas and John Allen Nelson, is also
heartwarming
Additional Links
Satellite News Review
Annotations