212 - Godzilla vs. Megalon

Jet Jaguar! Get Godzilla!

A friendship as enduring as... one movie.

What to say about Godzilla vs. Megalon? It’s one of the most infamous of Godzilla movies, made during the nadir of the series’ original run. Its main attraction is Jet Jaguar, an Ultraman-esque robot created by a child who entered a contest run by Toho, a lot of the destruction scenes are lifted from older movies, and Godzilla himself doesn’t really appear until the last half-hour. What’s to say about it? If you’re the crew of the SOL, you have a lot of hilarious things to say about it!

Megalon and Gigan: the Mac and Dennis of the kaiju world.

Because this is a Godzilla movie made in the 70s, calling the plot “batshit” would be generous, so I’ll just go over the highlights: Jet Jaguar, a robot made by humans, gets help from Godzilla to fight Megalon, a sort-of giant rhino beetle from the undersea kingdom of Seatopia, and Gigan, the cyborg-chainsaw-chicken monster from the previous movie whom the Seatopians literally just ask to borrow from his alien masters. Eventually, the bad guy monsters get beat up enough to leave, Godzilla and Jet Jaguar become friends, and then Jet Jaguar gets his own theme music to close out the movie. It’s fast paced, very goofy, and there’s an annoying kid character (the “Kenny”) in it for no reason other than to appeal to kids. It’s dang near the bottom in terms of Godzilla movies, but it still has some fun action and monster fights.

Somehow, still not the most ridiculous Godzilla moment.

So of course, Joel and the Bots have a ball with it. There’s jokes about the effects, when Megalon first appears, Tom says, “He awakes with the worst special effects of the morning.” Then there’s the Seatopian’s ridiculous outfits and togas, prompting Joel to say, “These Klan meetings have really lightened up. Very festive!” There’s even some historical references, like when the Japanese military fires tons of missiles at Megalon, and Joel says, “Who’s firing, Kissinger? You got him!” They also don’t make many bad Japanese-accent jokes, which didn’t do Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster any favors.

"I'm off to destroy happiness in a giant turtle movie!"

Then there’s the treatment they give the movie’s poor little shrill-voiced Kenny, Roku-chan. When somebody says his name, which sounds like “Roxanne”, Tom says, “You don’t have to wear that dress tonight!” They make fun of his dubbing, like when he shrieks, “It’s a pity we can’t sent Jet Jaguar to go and get Godzilla,” and Crow retorts, “Yeah, it’s a pity we can’t kill you and get away with it.” And when he goes riding off on his little scooter, Joel encourages him, “Don’t forget to ride towards traffic!”

How Godzilla deals with hostage takers.

They also make the most of the main monster battle royale, which the SOL crew joke through like they’re fight commentators. “So, gang, what does Godzilla bring into this fray?” Tom asks. “He brings the legend that is ‘Godzilla’,” Joel responds. And when Godzilla uses a tree on Megalon, Crow yells, “He’s got a tree! He’s got a tree! That’s not the Godzilla we know, he’s fighting dirty!” Sometimes too much monster action can reduce them to just bored spectators, but here they’re on radioactive fire.

I could watch them scream at one another like this for ten minutes.

The sense of fun they have spreads into the host segments. Crow and Tom make up their own monsters in one segment, which quickly devolves into them childishly one-upping each other with new powers and how much stronger their monster is than the other’s. “Mine has a secret elf in his head!” Crow says. Tom replies, “Mine is a million, jillion times more powerful!”The “Orville Popcorn” sketch making fun of the old Orville Redenbacher commercials may not have anything to do with the movie, but it is a blast, as elderly popcorn magnet Crow chastises grandson Tom for wanting to ditch his dorky outfit and use their money to get chicks. It quickly devolves into screaming, threat-filled hysterics, and it’s wonderful. But it says a lot that this isn’t even the best skit. No, that goes to “Rex Dart: Eskimo Spy”, where the crew uses clips of main character Hiroshi and his escapades chasing bad guys in his little hatchback accompanied by jazzy keyboard music to pretend it’s a spy TV show. It’s simple and catchy and boy is it a hoot.

Yet another time the cast and crew of the show almost immolated themselves in the name of comedy.

The only things keeping this episode from being an all-time classic are the lack of anything truly, memorably bad about the movie (them watching Godzilla’s Revenge would’ve solved that. Woof) and… that’s about it. I don’t think Jet Jaguar gets mentioned in any future episodes, but I’m pretty sure Rex Dart gets a reference in a Jonah episode. Really, it’s a shame this one doesn’t get more callbacks, as Jet Jaguar, the eternally-smiling, size-changing robot, is a lot of fun, and there’s a ton to enjoy about this episode. It’s just that the Gamera movies overshadow the Godzilla ones in terms of badness, memorable silliness, and riffing quality. The only thing they don’t have is Godzilla. And it says a lot about this episode’s quality that the Big G isn’t the only reason to watch it.

Episode in a riff:

Godzilla’s back, and someone’s got to pay! -Servo

Random asides:

-I reviewed this not just so I could have a celebration to mark my 50^th review (God, I’m slow at writing these), but to celebrate the release of the new anime Godzilla: Singular Point. Let’s just say that, even with its high production quality and anime versions of Godzilla, Anguirus, and Jet Jaguar, I’d much rather watch the MSTied version of Godzilla vs. Megalon over it. Hell, maybe even the un-MSTied version of GvM over it.

-I love how Mike Nelson describes the writing of the Orville Popcorn sketch in the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide. It’s apparently one of his favorites, and it, “takes on a weak opponent and pummels him mercilessly… Our Show continues a tradition of tackling anemic opponents e.g. barbecue sauces, Mentos candies, bed and breakfasts. Sleep better, America, knowing that we don’t intend to stop.”

-My other favorite entry from the ACEG is Trace Beaulieu’s “MST3K Monster!” entry, calling Godzilla, “A.K.A. the Amazing Teddy Z” and that “Jet Jaguar also makes an appearance, but I don’t really consider him a monster so I’m not going to talk about him.” Gigan is not even mentioned at all. But true G-fans know he’s rad, so it’s okay.

-The crew, especially Tom, hurl a few “Fakey”s at the model work, a lot of which comes from stock footage from Destroy All Monsters, one of the series’ best. I’d take offense to that on Eiji Tsuburaya’s sake, but considering the movies the cast and crew of this show have had to endure, I’d say they’ve paid their penance for it.

- “Little problem getting the Rosie Greer head to take”. Oh, Dr. F.

-“If you’re like me, and I know I am...” Something random Joel says that I love.

-I adore the childish bickering between Crow and Tom about whose robot is more powerful

-Tom says, of Roku-chan’s dolphin ride, “They can make high-definition TV but theycan’t make decent water toys.” Hey, I thought those were neat as a kid!

-Tom says of Jet Jaguar, “What a stupid name!” A group of kids say exactly the same thing in Godzilla: Singular Point.

-Even after seeing this movie a dozen times, I still don’t know why they needed the model plane to distract the Seatopians.

-All shots of Megalon destroying panes are of Gigan from previous movie.

-Why would Jet Jaguar’s creators build it so it could give itself free will? Haven’t they seen what that’s lead to for poor Joel Robinson?!

-In the previous movie Gigan had King Ghidorah as a sort-of sidekick. Here, he’s the sidekick

-Joel, as the commercial producer, after the Bots have been screaming at each other for about ten straight seconds: “It’s a 30 second spot, try to mention the product more.”

-I love the crew’s translation of Jet Jaguar’s fight song, especially the lyric, “His mother never really love him,” which has been in my head for years.

-Wow, the cast and crew really put themselves at risk with that flame thrower on Tom’s arm in the final host segment.

-Gotta love the Mads playing Mario at the end.

-The stinger for this episode, of Godzilla jumping into the ocean, is actually a clip from a previous Godzilla movie, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, which, yep, would be the next episode!

 

It's true.

 

Additional Links

Satellite News review

MST3K Fandom entry

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211 - First Spaceship on Venus

I am referring to our sister planet, Venus, the morning star!

 

Gotta science the shit outta Venus!

 

Fittingly for MST3K, space is the place. The inhabitants of the Satellite of Love probably watch as many space movies as they do radioactively-enlarged animal movies. Despite the lack of anything to eat or much breathable air, this environment has given them a lot to feed on and laugh about, resulting in classic episodes like Space Mutiny. But, that doesn’t mean that every trip to the stars means they land on a humorously hospitable planet. Sometimes, it’s as dry and sterile as an asteroid. This is my overly verbose way of saying First Spaceship on Venus is a middling episode.

Pictured: diversity, communism!

In the far off year of 1985, scientists discover a strange spool made of an unknown material, which turns out to have been from a crashed Venusian spaceship, responsible for the Tunguska explosion in the early 1900s. An international crew is assembled and sent off to find out what’s going on with our astronomical nextdoor neighbor, encountering dangers such as trails of meteors, zero gravity, and outdated ideas of the future. But, what awaits for them when they land on Venus?

Actually, pretty good special effects, a well-written story, and an overall decent science fiction movie await them. First Spaceship on Venus was originally an East German / Polish endeavor called The Silent Star, based on a novel by Solaris author Stanislaw Lem, but was reedited and dubbed for American audiences, ala what happened when the original Gojira was turned into Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (minus the pleasant addition of Raymond Burr). This means this is one of the rare cases where Joel and the Bots get a somewhat decent movie to watch. And this poses a problem for a show whose primary conceit is to watch cheesy movies, the worst they can find (la la la.)

Apparently, Dr. Seuss was popular on Venus.

 Even with it being dubbed and heavily reedited from the original version, the movie just doesn’t give Joel and the Bots much to work with. There are no annoying characters or bad special effects to rip on. On the one hand, this means the movie isn’t too painful to sit through. On the other, it means the crew don’t seem very engaged with this one, and are more like casual movie goers than professional quipsters. Some of the jokes are a little simple, like Joel just saying, “It’s neat!” when shown a spaceship flies by, and Crow asking, “Does this guy have a job?” when one of the crew members plays chess with the robot. There’s also a recurring joke they make, asking each other, when hearing the character Harringway’s name, “How much does a herring weigh?” It’s okay, but gets used way too often. Also, in the opening host segment, Servo asks Joel to raise the level on his sarcasm sequencer, meaning throughout the episode he just makes really sarcastic jokes, which gets old after a while and thankfully only lasts for this episode. But, there’s maybe one or two Star Trek jokes, no Star Wars jokes, just not much showing that they’re really into riffing the movie. That’s not to say there aren’t some good jokes here and there and there, though. There’s a clever reference when, after seeing a hanging model of the solar system, Servo says, “Alexander Calder was here!” They have fun with the Venusian trap that looks like moving pile of excrement, a character asks “What was that?” and Joel responds, “About a million pounds of doody.” And, of course, Crow gets in a gag about Uranus.

Tasty?

The lack of engagement with the movie can also be felt in the host segments. Most of them feel like the cast and crew are just filling time, like when the Bots encounter a gorilla cruising by in space. Although, I did enjoy the Klack Food Sketch, a funny few minutes of words thrown together to make nonsensical foods (Flabby leather pancakes, creamy clouded palm spread on horsey biscuits, salamander finger-whiches, etc), and Joel’s junk drawer starter kit is a fun invention. But overall, it kinda seems like, well, that the Best Brains were off during the making of this one. They don’t seem really involved with riffing the movie, and the host segments aren’t really connected to the movie (usually a sign it’s not holding their attention). Kevin Murphy says in The Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, after describing the extremely weird host segments, that, “...We went on vacation right after this show. We hugged our loved ones, gathered ‘round the holiday table, and I for one had a good, long cry.” I may be reading too much into it, but maybe they were just damn tired and needed a break.

I remember liking this one more the last two times I watched it. This time, though, it felt uninspired most of the time. They don’t do a lot with the movie, though to be fair it doesn’t give them a lot to work with, and they just felt like they were going through the motions. It’s not terrible, and they do riff frequently, but there’s nothing really clever going on. For diehard MSTies and Sanislaw Lem fans only.

Episode in a Riff:

“Any interest I had in them getting safely off the planet has been completely erased by a miasma of boring technical stuff.” -Crow

Random Asides

-Joel has on a teal jumpsuit in this one!

-Servo is sarcastic enough already, he doesn’t need to be made more.

-A rainy Saturday night was a perfect way to watch this one.

-”Dan Quayle scares me as much as the next guy.” Ah, the 90s.

-I like the little interplay about the Mads stealing Joel’s idea

-The Dick Tracy product placement in the Mads’ invention really tickles me.

-God, Abe Vigoda was old even then!

-I like how, during the exposition dumping news reports, the scientist studying the spool are just called “The Scientists”. Makes them sound like an alt rock band.

-Astronaut Harringway, with his features and coiffed hair, reminds me of Christopher Nolan.

-Joel’s reaction to the Bots’ robot that communicates in foam is my reaction to the sketch.

-I love the futuristic room with “the world’s largest computer.”

-Can nobody in this movie pronounce “Omega” properly?

-In one of the movie’s nice touches, the spaceship crew decide to warn Earth that the Venusians intend the planet harm, and argue that the world won’t fall into panic, and should be prepared. It’s a little optimism I like.

-I like the Sol-Mates podcast episode where they describe it as “Epcot Venus.” I also thought it was pretty accurate how they describe the host segments as a grab bag they probably had written but couldn't find a place for. 

-The Mads’ Abe Vigoda in a box bit would return as Robert Plant in The Amazing Colossal Man.

-If all they needed was a break, it shows, because the following episodes are Godzilla vs. Megalon and Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster, two very good ones.

-I really did like the Klack Foods sketch. It reminded me of some of the funniest fake foods mentioned in Firesign Theater skits. Surprised Servo didn’t mention hot buttered groat clusters.

-The DVD came with the 20th Anniversary set, which I hate realizing was over ten years ago. But, it has a nice History of MST3K documentary on it. Good to check out with season 13 upcoming.

Additional Links

SatelliteNews review

MST3K Fandom entry

SoL-Mates podcast episode

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The Next Chapter!

 For anyone who doesn't know, MST3K creator Joel  Hodgson recently started a new Kickstarter to bring the world more episodes of MST3K and a streaming service for it: the Gizmoplex! So come on, fellow MSTies, let's make this happen!

 Click here for more details!

213 - Godzilla versus the Sea Monster

Godzilla!

Godzilla earning his dinner a true monster's way.

Peanut butter and chocolate. Chicken and waffles. MST3K and GODZILLA. Two great tastes that taste great together! Their meeting tantalized me upon my discovery of the show when I saw the Godzilla clip in the intro, but it was a few years before I was able to secure the episode through tape-trading. And while it doesn’t come as close to greatness as the show’s Gamera episodes would, seeing my beloved Big G riffed by Joel and the Bots was, and still is, a treat.

Literally just an excuse to post another picture of Godzilla.

Taking place in the middle of the original run of Godzilla films known as the “Showa Era”, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster starts with a boat being sunk by the titular Sea Monster, Ebirah. We then follow Ryota and two of his friends as they try to locate his brother who was on said boat. They steal a sailboat, only to find the owner, Yoshimura, already aboard. But it’s okay, since he’s actually a bank robber on the run, and the boat is attacked by the Sea Monster anyway. The four wash ashore on an unnamed Pacific island which is occupied by a terrorist force known as the Red Bamboo. They’re creating nuclear weapons and use slave labor to make a yellow liquid that repels Ebirah, which grants their forces safe passage and keeps people off the island and slaves from escaping. The castaways hook up with Daiyo, an escaped slave, and learn she is from Infant Island, home of Mothra, whom the slaves are praying will awaken and rescue them. The five make a lightning rod to awaken Godzilla to fight Ebirah. Ryota escapes via balloon to Infant Island and meets up with his brother. One of their friends gets kidnapped, and he convinces the slaves to make fake liquid. Eventually, Godzilla shows up and trashes the Red Bamboo base, as they’re elbowing in on his mass destruction racket, so they turn on the island’s self-destruct function and sail off. But their phony liquid fails to repel Ebirah, who kills them. Ebirah then gets in a fight with and kills Godzilla. Just kidding! Godzilla’s a mutated indestructible force of nature that breathes radioactive fire and Ebirah is literally a giant shrimp; G whoops him handily, literally. Mothra shows up to rescue everyone in a quickly-made bassinet for humans and Godzilla swims off to safety. Safety for him. Not the rest of the world. It’s still in danger from him. So, happy ending!

Here is a gratuitous picture of Mothra.

As far as Godzilla movies go, Sea Monster is somewhere in the middle in terms of quality. Ebirah isn’t a very interesting monster, and there’s none of the deeper symbolism of the earlier films, nor the punishingly cheesy elements of later ones, like in the previous episode’s Godzilla vs. Megalon. But it does move along quickly, there’s enough monster action to keep things lively, the characters aren’t annoying (the thief played by Toho regular Akira Takarada is pretty cool), and there’s some thrills as the main characters fight the Red Bamboo. Throw in Mothra as well as a giant condor which fights Godzilla for no reason, and you’ve got Saturday matinee monster movie fun. Which means there’s plenty for Joel and the Bots to riff on! Monster fights? “This is why pet owners should have their pets neutered,” says Crow, followed by plenty of “Yo Mama” jokes between Godzilla and Ebirah. And when the monsters bounce a giant boulder back and forth? Sports jokes! “Pele with the save!” cries Tom. Infant Island population dancing to Mothra? Dance audition and pep rally jokes! “We’ve got spirit yes we do!” they all cry. Mothra’s twin fairies appear? “It’s Haley Mills and Haley Mills in The Mothra Trap!” Joel jokes.

Godzilla boiling his own lobster.

There’s still some of the early seasons’ silliness, like Crow repeating “A planet where apes evolved from men!” anytime characters are seen on a beach, something Joel actually puts a stop to. And there are a few basic “state park” jokes, where they just state something is like something else, as when Tom says the Red Bamboo base is like Get Smart, instead of, say, humming the theme song to it. And some of the Japanese jokes are kind of lame, like during them singing the theme to Gilligan’s Island during a storm, they sing, “If not for the courage of the fearless crew,” Tom adds, “the sushi would be lost.” But there are clever moments, like when we see a run down hut, and Joel says, to the tune of Talking Heads’ Once in a Lifetime, “You may find yourself one day living in a shogun shack.”

I hope he turned the fan on when he went in there.

Then there’s the segment Kevin Murphy mentions in the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, where Godzilla sits on a rock and they make a ton of poop jokes. Joel says, “One of you guys mind getting me a magazine? I’m gonna be here a while.” It’s childish and immature and hilarious. While there aren’t a ton of laugh-out-loud jokes throughout the entire episode, there’s little of the early seasons’ awkwardness, and their delivery is refined, rapid-fire, sharp, and snappy. And I like the main characters in this, so watching the movie with Joel and the Bots is like being on a wacky island adventure that also includes Godzilla! Talk about a good time!

Tom and Crow and a celebrity cameo.

That sense of fun continues in the skits. Joel, getting a little space fever, uses found objects on the SOL to make miniature replicas of world famous monuments. Tom and Crow make fun of the twin fairies and pray to Mothra, only for him (voiced by Mike Nelson) to show up! But the true standout is the Godzilla Genealogy Bop, which recounts Godzilla’s origin, “It started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released / Oh, like baby alligators and other nasty beasts?” and chronicles Godzilla’s descendants, “There’s Kermit the Frog, Swamp Thing, Hulk….” It’s catchy, funny, and one of the show’s best songs. Of all the host segments, only the invention exchange ranks as just okay.

I can't help but notice Fin Fang Foom isn't on there. Maybe he's adopted.

Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster is a fine way to end Season 2. It’s not as great a serving of MST-ified kaiju as the Gamera movies will be, but for a longtime MSTie and Godzilla fan, it’s still a joyous meeting of two worlds that proved all too rare.

Episode in a Riff:

As the island explodes: “Irwin Allen slept here.” -Servo

Random Asides

-I picked this episode to coincide with the release of Godzilla vs. Kong. Why? Because this movie was originally supposed to feature King Kong and not Godzilla! It’s true! You can read about the entire unmade version here.

-As a G fan, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster is good for riffing, but there were other, better choices that would’ve made even better episodes. Godzilla’s Revenge is often considered the worst in the series, as it’s mostly a clip-movie focusing on a talking version of Godzilla’s son appearing in a little boy’s dream, but I would’ve loved to have seen Joel and the Bots deal with the psychedelic insanity of Godzilla vs. Hedorah (aka Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster).

-The scenes used in the Film Ventures International clips at the beginning are from another good contender for a riffable movie, Son of Godzilla.

-I love Joel reading the Velveteen Rabbits to the Bots. It’s such a dad thing he would do.

-“I’m thoroughly enchanted. Now get to the invention exchange!” I’m thoroughly enchanted too, Dr. F.

-I think the invention exchanges are fine, but I do really like Joel’s addendum to his self-playing guitar, that, “All I gotta do is add appropriate facial grimaces”

-I like how they don’t even have real guitar sounds, just keyboard.

-I also enjoy how, after the Mads play their squeeze toy guitars, there are dogs barking in the background.

-They take a long time getting to the theater, entirely missing the movie’s title, leading to the running gag of them wondering what the title even is. It’s more awkward than funny, and I can see why they don’t repeat the gag again.

-There’s a moment when Joel and the Bots begin singing György Ligeti’s Requiem, famously used in 2001: A Space Odyssey, and re-used for Godzilla 2014.

-I like seeing the contest entry letters in the letters at the end, especially the Bot Mobile and the cool M.C. Escher-esque drawing.

-I was a little unsure about Mike Nelson voicing Mothra, until I realized this is the same Mothra from Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, which is a male, so it’s fine. Yes, of course I noticed these details.

-I also noticed the drawing of Godzooki in the Genealogy Bop’s flow chart is clearly Minya from Son of Godzilla colored green.

-Akira Takarada’s name is misspelled as “Akira Akarada” in the Film Ventures credits.

-Joel losing it in host segment 3 and asking after his copy of The Fountainhead while crying out, “Howard Roark, oh, Howard!” is one of those random moments that has stuck with me.

-Tom, as the Bots destroy Joel’s models: “This is for his own good right? Okay woo!”

-Speaking of, that whole segment of him going space crazy makes it seem that maybe, just a little, being stuck in space watching bad movies wouldn’t always be a grand ol’ time.

-I like the look Joel gives the Bots when they say they were just visited by Mothra.

-The documentary short on the making of the Shout! Documentary extras about Ballyhoo Motion Pictures and it’s founder / director Daniel Griffith is a lot of fun and a great extra.

-Since this episode will probably never be on DVD, I’m glad Shout! Included the host segments on the Vol 39 DVD set. So, as the saying goes, keep circulating the tapes. Or the MP4s.

Additional Links

Satellite News review

MST3K fandom entry