521 - Santa Claus

No, Lupita!

What do you get when you mix Santa Claus, kids movies, Mexican film, and Satan? Pure, family friendly, holiday movie insanity. You also get a classic episode of MST3K. Well, classic for most, since it seems I’m among the few who doesn’t outright love this episode. Not that there isn’t a lot to love. But this is one of the rare occasions where the movie outshines the jokes made about it.

Santa Claus is by far one of MST’s strangest, most memorable, and most entertaining movies. It begins in a castle in the sky, as Santa Claus plays an organ while stereotyped children from different countries and regions from the world help to make his toys. This is even stranger and more gloriously insane on film than it is to read. And that’s all before the Devil gets involved! Well, a devil, a red-suited and flamboyant demon named Pitch. Pitch is ordered by Lucifer to stop Santa from spreading joy throughout the world, and proceeds to manipulate children to help ruin Christmas, including trying to get three boys to kidnap Santa, and to convince the poor and desperately adorable little girl Lupita to steal a doll. Can Santa and the forces of good and presents triumph over as effete and prancing a menace as Pitch?

A better question is, can Mike and the Bots be more entertaining than the movie? It’s a weird, creative, and fun film in the way only mad-genius kids movies can be. It operates on childlike logic and imagination, such as how Pitch is threatened with having to eat chocolate ice cream as punishment, and has a decent budget to bring it to life, and enough wrongheaded ideas to make some parts unintentionally hilarious (the racially stereotypes as hell kids singing and making presents) and terrifying (the clockwork reindeer. Eek!) It’s weird enough to provide perfect fodder for Mike and the Bots. But oddly enough, it’s not quite bad enough to make good fodder either. They suffer through some of the weirder parts, sure, like the creepy instruments at the castle and the windup reindeer. But frankly, this movie, with is gorgeous sets, fun performances and all around weirdness, make for better entertainment that the riffing. Often, Mike, Tom, and Crow are just reacting how damn strange the film is.

But, that does have the added benefit of adding to the “hanging out with friends” aspect of MST that I love. We’re watching all the wackiness unfold right along with the crew of the SOL. It’s almost a very Joel-esque Mike episode (I think this movie actually might’ve made a better Joel episode, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians might’ve made a better Mike episode). When the jokes come less like professional comedy writers and more casually, like friends watching a movie, I think the show is strongest. To me, it’s what separates the greatness of Season 8, where Mike and the Bots make each other laugh a lot, with Season 9, where it does feel very practiced and a bit more rigid. So, this episode, which really does feel like you’re watching the madness for the first time with some funny friends, instead of writers who’ve seen this movie eight or nine times, stands out in its delivery and presentation, but maybe not so much in how consistently funny the jokes are. That and Mike is still new in front of the camera, being only 8 episodes into his time as host, and he’s still adapting, still very genial and not at the casual, snarky heights he would reach. The host segments aren’t bad, but not great either, though the song, “Have a Merry Christmas…If That’s Okay”, is a standout, with its capitulations to enjoying the holidays however you want, in the most 90s, politically-correct way, such as “perhaps your religions doesn’t include a time called ‘lent’/but whatever your religion is, we support you 100 percent!” That it’s sung in earnest makes it even more fun, and would be a joy to carol. And we also get longtime writer Paul Chaplin’s debut as Pitch, and while he’s played many characters on the show, his soft-spoken, Midwestern delivery make Pitch his best and one of the show’s best recurring movie characters.

So while, for me, the riffing isn’t consistently great, the movie is consistently entertaining. What I’m saying is, this episode is like a 7 out of 10. Worth watching, just not a personal fave of mine. But it is a great way to MST up the holidays.

Episode in a Riff:

“Is this weird enough for ya, kids? How does this make you feel about Santa?” -MIke

Random Asides:

-I actually saw part of this movie on a Spanish language TV channel somewhere around middle school, tuning in to the part near the end when Santa is being harassed by Pitch and chased by a dog. I was more than curious to discover it was featured on MST.

-I love Crow flailing around

-I love how expectant Frank is of a gift from Dr. Forrester. What’s even better is how half-assed Dr. F’s gift is. Even better than that are the gifts on the SOL. A 1991 drug IV handbook! I have a feeling the prop department just threw together what trash they had. And who the heck is Steve Alamo?

-Servo is Jewish. Canon now.

-This episode aired on Christmas Eve of 1994. That would’ve made a great gift for any family! Not mine. They’d put up with me and this show for about 10 minutes!

-Damn, this is a goofy, weird, and still kinda cute movie. I like the detail about Pitch the demon having to eat chocolate ice cream as punishment. It’s that kind of kid logic that really makes a kid movie.

-Why does the newspaper headline read “Spirit of Christmas Invades America”? Is it some sort of aggressive foreign power?

-It’s snowing in space at the end, and the SOL has a chimney, because duh.

-Rene Cardona directed a ton of films, including cult classic “Night of the Bloody Apes”, and producer Guillermo Calderon produced Ep BLANK Robot vs Aztec Mummy

-From watching the making-of doc on the DVD, it looks like a few scenes were left out of the MST cut of the film. I wonder if any of them explain the origins of the disappearing flower and how Merlin got involved with Santa?

-The climax of this movie involved Santa being chased up a tree by a dog. That’s a pretty lame climax for such a colorful and creative film.

-Santa has visited like five people by night’s end

-Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, a great Kwanzah, or whatever day, holiday, or anything you’re celebrating! Thanks for sharing it and some MST with me. 

6 Favorite Riffs

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