507 - I Accuse My Parents

LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!

Jimmy and the Accused (and one random woman who lives with them or something)

Racketeering. Getaway driving. Fraudulent essays on parental behavior. How could young Jimmy’s life go so wrong? Was it his parents, who were too busy drinking and cheating to teach him morals? Was it society, not supporting his upper middle class whiteness enough? No, he’s just stupid. And boy, do Joel and the Bots have fun at his expense. I Accuse My Parents, a diet-noir crime thriller from the 40s, isn’t the usual type of movie MST3K features. But damn if it doesn’t lead to a terrific episode.

As implied by the title, I Accuse My Parents beats the parental blame-gaming of the 90s by half a century. Young Jimmy Wilson, on trial for murder, accuses his parents, and proceeds to recount his long, dumb, lie-filled story in movie-length flashback. A happy young high school go-getter, Jimmy’s parents are nothing but partying lushes, his mom usually drunk when he comes home from school and dad either out playing cards. But Jimmy writes an essay for school about how great his home life is, and his teacher asks him to read it at a school function. He gets found out when mom shoes up drunk, revealing the truth of his broken-ish home life. Soon, Jimmy gets a job selling shoes, meets attractive nightclub singer Kitty, gets unknowingly involved in crime with Kitty’s mob boyfriend Charlie Blake, who he doesn’t know is her boyfriend, and is soon on the lam. Some people die and somehow, according to Jimmy, it’s his parents’ fault for not being there to raise him right, despite the fact that none of what happened had to do with bad parenting.

Jimmy being stupid and lying to a woman who likes him. And not like normal  guy little white lies, either.

 When most people think bad movies, they imagine goofy special effects, bad acting, a nonsensical plot, usually with a sci-fi or horror vibe. They don’t often think crime flicks. But I Accuse My Parents, while not terribly acted, nor nonsensically plotted, proves to be a damn gold mine for Joel and the Bots. Part of that is because, despite being a crime thriller from the golden age of noir and detective flicks, Accuse plays more like a moralizing and tame exploitation flick, with fast talking gangsters, drinking, and molls, but a guileless naiveté that saps it of any edge. It also doesn’t help that the moral of the movie, be a good parents or your kid could turn out bad, for one thing wrongly puts all the blame on the parents (which is as far as I’m going to modernly analyze the film’s morality and worldview), but also doesn’t explain how Jimmy goes from “my mom and dad drink and are terrible parents” to “I’m running things for the mob and I didn’t know it!” And that leads to what really gives them so much material: Jimmy. Jimmy Wilson, all 40s upper-middle class aw-shucks gee-whiz boy-howdy, is a whiny simp, habitual liar, and has all the brains of a bag of broken doorknobs. He is perfect.

Joel episodes tend to fall on the goofier rather than sarcastic side, but man, do he and the Bots wring every wry, sarcastic, biting comment they can at Jimmy’s expense. From his essay full of lies about how wonderful his home life is, to lies he tells his girlfriend, to the lies he tells himself about the errands he runs for mobster Charlie Blake, to how dumb and deluded he is for not seeing it all, they pounce on it all. “Yeah, and I was the first one outta Saigon,” Servo says when we catch Jimmy entertaining friends at dinner. Then there’s Crow singing, “I’m stupid, yes indeed I’m stupid” to the tune of “I’m Walking” as Jimmy strolls down the street. They call back to the essay contest when, after Jimmy gets roughed up by some gangsters, Joel says, “Mom, Dad, I won the ‘Get the Crap Kicked Outta You’ contest!”  And of course, there’s the running joke of them chanting, “LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!” every time somebody lies in the movie (it’s a lot.) This bleeds into the host segments, which are all memorable. The best one is near the end, when they psychoanalyze Jimmy and create a mobie-diorama of his brain and thoughts, with items like “drunk folks” and “bad haircut” hanging about. And, my favorite part, a giant “STUPID” floating around. 

Noticing a theme?

What’s funny is their shorts usually end up stealing the episode, but the one they view here, “The Truck Farmer”, about how modern day  (for the 40s) automobiles, machine plants, and underpaid labor get fresh produce to our store shelves. They have a lot of fun when chemicals are sprayed on plants or immigrant workers are shown, according to Joel, “These select few are making three cents a day.” It’s fun and a little mean, too, and show how the Joel episodes weren’t always chummy and good natured. But it can’t hold a candle to Jimmy. 

Not pictured: people probably being paid a fair wage.

 

 This is a great episode that I thinks slips under most MSTies’ radar, being neither a sci-fi or fantasy flick or memorably weird or bad. But thanks to being a tame exploitation film and the moronic nature and actions of its main character, it provides plenty of opportunities for Joel, Crow and Tom to have their fun, and is an episode worth watching, especially if you haven’t seen it in a while.

Episode in a Riff:

“On the lam, mob trouble. Accusingly yours, Jimmy.” –Crow

Random Asides:

-Jimmy has to stand out as one of the single stupidest characters they’ve had. The only ones who come to mind coming close are the family from Manos: The Hands of Fate or anyone dumb and slow enough to be eaten by The Creeping Terror. Paul Chaplin in the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide describe him as, “one of the most maladjusted characters we’ve ever had”. I’d agree. Maybe Marv from High School Big Shot comes close.

                                                             

-Really, really good host segments here, with lots of lines I’ve been using over the years. Tom painting himself pink to appear human and how Joel reacts (“The hell?! Tom Servo, you’re naked!”) and how Crow crushes his dreams of humanity (“You’ll get beat up, ‘cuz you’re a freak.”) Their invention, the Junk Drawer Organizer (“Where’d I put that gun? Well, now there’s a place for it!” [also, Jimmy pulls a gun out of a junk drawer in the movie!]) Joel’s therapy exercises for the ‘Bots and what he says about Crow (“Man should be in a straight jacket”)

How did this slip past the censors?

 -Speaking of, the way Joel bounces between costume changes in Gypsy’s nightclub singing act is great. Also, Cambot gets to do something in this skit, even if it is just break down. 

-My favorite riff from the short: Announcer: "Here in Texas, there are other problems." Crow: "Texans!"

-Speaking of again, the songs in this movie are pretty memorable, especially, “Are You Happy In Your Work”, though they are also pretty dopey. 

-This episode was featured on The Mystery Science Theater Hour, but unfortunately I can't find the wrap segments anywhere. Would love to see them someday!

-There’s some girl named Shirley living with Jimmy and his mom and dad, and who his dad keeps hitting on. Who the hell is she? After multiple viewings, I have no idea! A maid? Tutor? Family friend? What?!

-One of the ads jimmy see sis for “young man to be guide to orient.’ So he missed being in a cheesy adventure movie by this much.

-For all times I’ve watched this movie, I wondered why nobody made a big deal out of Jimmy being a high schooler who drinks. It wasn’t until this latest viewing I realized, “Duh, 18 was the legal age back then.”

-Boy, they love doing that cartoony fast talking/trans atlantic accent.

-I love how they refer to burgers and fries as, “hamburger sammich and french fried potatoes garnish” with these old movies.

                                                      

-The dumbest things Jimmy does: needlessly lie about his home life; go and tell the mobster who tried to have him killed that he’s going with Jimmy to the cops; accuse his parents for things them being sober wouldn’t have solved.

-Jimmy being found guilty of transporting stolen goods, only for the Judge to then immediately put him on probation, brings out the episode’s best, most biting line, as Joel yells out, “Thank God I’m white!”

-Also, hey judge? Maybe putting Jimmy in the custody of the parents he’s blaming for his behavior ain’t the best idea.

-You know what? No, Jimmy, it’s not your parents fault you’re an idiot. Even calling it “affluenza” wouldn’t suffice. You’re just dumb. You get 20 years as an accessory at least. 

Best Momemnts from Youtuber Auritone

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