You might want to tell Chief Pallin that one of his boys, that Mitchell character? He's heading for trouble...
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| The man, the myth, the Mitchell! |
The SoL-Mates Podcast says that episode 512 Mitchell may be the most important episode of MST3K, and I think they’re onto something. “It’s the changing of the old guard into the new. It’s the proof is in the watching of the show that the format can carry from Joel Robinson [Hodgson] the creator of the show to Mike Nelson the head writer…” MST3K changed forever with the transition from Joel to Mike, shifting the tone of a lot of the jokes from sillier to more acerbic, but also showing that, as the SoL-Mates said, the SOL can handle different captains at the helm. It’s an important, though challenging, episode to discuss in terms of not just the show, but what the show means. Because MST3K is important. It’s a wry mirror held up to juxtapose pop culture and the society that consumes it. It uses B-movies to tear, riff by riff, into all manner of sacred cows of film and art. Okay, that’s mostly pretentious BS. Really it’s important because it makes people laugh and, to me, shows the power of the bonds of friendship in the face of hell, albeit a cheesy, low-rent, schlocky hell. Or, maybe not friendship, since sometimes the humans and the Bots can really tear into each other. But that’s okay, because they keep coming back for more, even when a movie destroys them. Or, even when the creator and host of the show leaves.
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| Mitchell hard at work on the "I missed my afternoon nap" case. |
And what an episode to leave on! While it’s odd that Joel’s final experiment is something as unrepresentative of the show in terms of movies chosen as Mitchell, the timing of it proved a blessing, as it resulted in one of MST3K’s all-time best episodes. Mitchell follows Joe Don Baker (best known for his role in Walking Tall) as the slovenly, obtuse, pain-in-the-ass police officer Mitchell. He’s introduced asleep in the back of a cop car and is dropped of to a crime scene like a doughy pizza being delivered. As punishment for annoying the high-profile suspect of a self-defense murder, Mitchell is put on surveillance detail for local businessman Cummings (Martin Balsam, known for Psycho among other things). Mitchell accidentally clues in that Cummings will be bringing in a big shipment of heroin from Mexico to please some mob ties of his. Along the way, Mitchell also falls for prostitute Greta (Linda Evans) who Mitchell thinks was sent to him by Cummings to paint him as dirty but wasn’t, she was actually sent by the guy Mitchell was investigating for murder of a thief in his home, played by John Saxon. He’s the murderer, not the thief. The movie has way too much going on. Mitchell brute forces his way through the plot, mostly by harassing people while lazing about, until he plays along with Cummings enough to reveal his betrayal of the other criminals involved and then kills enough people to “solve the case.”
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| I like how the angry police chief was a cliche even in the 70s. |
On paper there’s nothing really of note to this movie as a choice for an experiment except that it doesn’t fit the bill for the show. Most movies used for MST are cheesy sci-fi flicks or exploitation garbage. Mitchell is a not-altogether terrible underdog crime flick from the 70s. Sure, like I Accuse My Parents and Angel’s Revenge, it’s something you could see the show handling, but not something that becomes an all-time classic. But, like those episodes, this provides top shelf laughs for Joel and the Bots. Here, that’s primarily thanks to two things: their favorite decade, the 70s, and the movie’s star, Joe Don Baker.
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| Such charm, such fashion! |
Let’s talk a little about the 70s jokes before we get to the even better stuff. They start early with Tom saying, “any movie with ‘Waka/Jawaka’ is okay by me,” over the movie’s opening title sequence, leading to a ton of groovy music riffs (this also doubles as Frank Zappa reference.) Then there’s the fashion, like when Mitchell wears this ugly ass blue plaid number to dinner, and Joel imitating a boom mic operator says, “Can we get more volume on that jacket please?” And when Mitchell dumps his ashtray full of trash on the side of the road, Crow says, “Somewhere, an Indian is crying.” They even get in some 70s cop show digs, like when the movie cuts to a shot of squad car, and Tom says, “Meanwhile on an Adam-12 episode not far away,” or when some thugs beat up Mitchell, Crow says, “Sorry bud, we thought you were Rockford!”
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| "Careful now, Hoke!" |
But let’s move on to the meat of the jokes which are leveled at poor Joe Don Baker’s expense. They are usually crass, low-hanging fruit, and by and large are hilarious. When Mitchell is introduced asleep in the back of a squad car, Joel says, “Our hero, ladies and gentlemen, right there.” And it just gets worse from there. As soon as a sleepy Mitchell steps out of the car, Tom asks in a grumbly voice, “Got any moist towelettes, rags, some toilet paper?” When Mitchell says, “There’s a police investigation going on here,” Joel counters with, “Oh there is? I thought there was just a big slob walking around my house.” When Mitchell runs maybe 20 feet up to a building, Crow immediately begins making panting and wheezing sounds. When Greta shows up to seduce Mitchell and he offers her a beer, Crow says, “You like ‘em half empty? Some of ‘em got cigarettes in ‘em.” And, after Mitchell takes a beating and a thug dumps a trashcan on top of him, Tom says, “Hey I think this is rice… oop, no it’s not!” Then there’s the many, many times they shout “Mitchell!” like he’s Shaft just for the sake of it. I could go on, but you get the idea. Now, I’m one to admit that the aspect of ridiculing people and their work is integral to MST’s success, but it’s not the key ingredient I love the most. And sometimes, t hey just plain cross the line into being downright mean. Like here. They sure as hell do here. As Kevin Murphy says in the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, “We did a real number on Joe Don Baker in this show, and personally I don’t regret a minute of it. Not a single drunk joke, nor glutton joke, nor grotesque slobbering pig of a backwards-ass redneck joke would I alter to cushion the blow.” Anyway, the results are hilarious, so I guess I don’t care!
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| Joel and the Bots having a perfectly mature breakdown to normal adult behavior. |
This is also one of those episodes where they riff on just about anything, and they strike gold almost every time. When John Saxon’s evil character explains away why he shot a burglar in his home, Crow, as one of the cops, says, “Well, you’re rich and white, I don’t see a problem with it.” And then there’s little things that just make me laugh, like when Saxon uses a mechanical lattice door to trap the burglar, Crow says, “Cedar lattice, works every time!” Tom also gets in a lot of good lines whenever the movie shows scenic shots of LA with this sweeping yet calm music and talks like he’s doing voiceover for a 3M commercial film. There’s the car chase (“chase” being the operative word), where we get gems like Joel saying in an old mid-western woman’s voice, “Oh dear, they’re traveling at speeds of up to 35 miles per hour!” The movie gets to them a little in a scene where Mitchell matches wits with a bratty kid while he’s on the stakeout, and Tom holler in frustration. And then there’s the torture the sex scene inflicts upon them, when Joel points out baby oil on Mitchell’s bedside table, making them all scream. The movie just provides so much for them that every scene has several killer jokes in it.
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| Joel standing by his Bots. |
It’s just too bad the movie doesn’t inspire any big skits during the host segments. But that’s not because it doesn’t offer anything, but because the host segments are taken up with Gypsy’s attempt to rescue Joel. See, the Mads have hired a temp by the name of Mike (just a regular Joe they don’t like) to help them audit Deep 13. And Gypsy overhears them plotting to kill him once his work is done. However, she thinks they’re talking about Joel, and so she conspires to help him escape. It's too bad Joel balks at even the mention of supposedly leaving, saying, "It's all for one and one for all." This leads to great bits, like Gypsy wailing, “Ennuiiiii!” before she realizing, “Wait, I’ve got Tom and Crow to help me. I’m sure in a pinch I can depend on them to be serious and calm and intelligent…’’ and cue Tom and Crow bouncing around on pogo sticks singing TV show theme sons. Eventually, Gypsy turns to Mike for help, which leads to Joel’s very sad, fond, and even touching farewell as he leaves the bots with a plaque to remember him by. Sure, it’s got a quote from an obscure George Pal movie on it, but it’s something. And perhaps more importantly, Joel the creator is laving the show in mighty good hands.
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| Farewell, Joel. |
In the end, Joel escapes to live happily ever after. Maybe after so much hell, he deserves it. But his ship is left in more than capable hands. And his send off episode couldn’t have been any better. If anything, Mitchell as a choice of farewell experiment proved to be fairly unique among MST movies and thus gives Joel the special send off he deserves. While there are other episodes that are funnier, they’re few in number, and few provide the opportunities for all the kinds of jokes MST3K loved, from wry social commentary to cheap fart jokes. Joel spent years crafting and honing the show, and his farewell may just encapsulate everything about it. And then, instead of ending, the show just kept going and giving more and more laughs. And now, it’s coming back again. In that way, to prove that the show must go on, Mitchell may be the most important MST3K episode. And as Joel says, that is a marvel.
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| Poor Mike has no idea what he's in for. |
Episode in a riff:
Singing:
Joel: Mitchell… Mitchell… Mitchell!
Tom: Ryeeeee on the sammich!
Joel: Mitchell!
Tom: Heart’s pounding!
Joel: Mitchell!
Tom: Vein’s clogging!
All: Mitchell! Wakajawaka wakajawaka!
Random Asides:
-For those who want to know why exactly Joel left the show, take a read of the MST3K Definitive Oral History article at Wired.
-This may have been the toughest review for me to write. There’s so much history of the show and what’s important about it tied into these 90 minutes. I went back and forth a lot on what aspects of it were most important, what the show means as a whole, even how to begin it. But I think that once I focused on how important the episode is for Joel and how funny it is, I really found the heart of it. The goofy, silly heart of MST. Okay, I’m being pretentious again.
-Joel is often criticized for being too sleepy and silly for some. But to me, he’s on fire here, slinging sarcasm left and right at the movie. I’m glad he went out in such top form.
-According to the wonderful documentary The Last Flight of Joel Robinson on the DVD, Mitchell as a farewell episode was chosen almost at random, that it’s just how the schedule worked out. Couldn’t have worked any better, if you ask me.
-Joel’s initial idea of a replacement was for his character to be hit with a sex change ray and have him replaced with a female actor, namely writer Bridget Jones Nelson. While she would’ve been a fantastic choice, that idea is… not one of Joel’s best. Thankfully, they went with Mike.
-I love the intro segment where Joel shows off his replica of Monticello made from toothpicks, and the Bots immediately show up to destroy it, which he gives them permission to. It’s oddly sweet.
-”What’re you kidding me? We’re on a spaceship. This place is crawling with toothpicks.” Um, if you say so, Joel.
-I also love that Crow just says it’s, “Not very good.”
-Tom, in response to being given permission to destroy it: “FLAME ON!”
-Apparently, the Bots also destroyed Joel’s ceramic bell collection. Just how much of his junk did he take up with him into space?
-The Mads apparently have three Jarvik Seven’s lying around. It took me Googling for this episode to learn those are artificial hearts.
-I like how a lot of the Mads’ old inventions are in the background as Mike helps them audit Deep 13.
-Kinda weird that Joel’s last invention isn’t something big or grand, just an obtuse reference to an old TV show and a medical condition. However, that is very befitting the show.
-Mike, asking, “What exactly is the deal with this guy and these cute robots?’ is probably how most people discovering the show feel.
- “I grafted the butt of a dog onto the butt of a cat. Sure, they all laughed…” Never change, Dr. F.
-Dr. F’s description of Mitchell is, “It’s a super secret spy... has a motorcycle... marooned in space.. meets Hercules, or not….” Mostly accurate.
-Apparently Dr. F’s plan to eliminate Mike will leave nothing behind but the great smell of Brut, which Google tells me is a spicy fragrance for men. Thanks for another obscure tidbit of knowledge that will never leave my head, MST3K.
-That’s Jerry Hardin, Deep Throat from The X-Files, as the desk cop.
-Mike needs the keys to the SOL’s control station. The way he does and how Frank reacts are very befitting both characters.
-I like how the Bots each react very in-character to Joel’s departure. Gypsy is sad he’s gone, Crow is hungry, Tom immediately assumes power.
-I’d love to know what was on that last letter Joel was about to read, and who wrote it.
-SoL-Mates has a lot of good on this one. Calling the Mads “mad scientists who have this weird affinity for prop comedy”, and the idea that the kid is Mitchell’s love child, that the version MST3K watches is an edited-for-TV version cutting out lots of violence and mostly cuts out the death of John Saxon’s character, which happens during a frickin’ dune buggy chase, a scene which also features the scene of Mitchell throwing a rock used in the opening titles.
-More time has passed since this episode aired than from when Mitchell came out and the episode did. Wow.
-”Say, Mike, um, what size jumpsuit do you wear?”
-And so, with one last, “Mitchell”, Joel says goodbye to the theater. Until later this year. (Or a couple years ago, if you count the live shows. And I do. So there.)
-Mitchell!
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