524 - 12 to the Moon

No, that's the Mars button!

A dozen dopes to the Moon

 MST3K and space movies go together like peanut butter and chocolate. And if that movie is a 50s space clunker with limited understanding of science and goofy special effects, and you get one of those amazing Reese’s holiday shapes that somehow taste even better. But 12 to the Moon isn’t quite one of those amazing Christmas tree or Easter egg shaped treats, like Space Mutiny. But it’s more like…what are some of the lesser holiday shaped Reese’s? Arbor day? No, that would be a tree, too. Whatever. Point is, this is a pretty good, but not fantastic, episode.

The movie takes place in the not too distant future (for 1960), as an international, multicultural team of astronauts, 12 to be exact, make man’s first trip to the moon , along with a few animals for science/moon snacks. Imagine the science of a movie from before the moon landing, made by B-producers, with A-level pretensions, and an “F” in actual science, and you’ve got a pretty accurate idea for how the whole thing comes across. The absolute best is the "invisible electro magnetic ray screen" they put on over their helmets because they couldn't afford prop helmets with visors. Glorious. There’s gravity on the ship, steam on the moon, and very visible cyc lights and background curtain rods in view. It’s about as archetypal goofy 50s B-movie as it gets. So, damn near perfect fodder for Mike and the Bots. And they definitely enjoy themselves, with a high percentage of jokes per minute. And while they’re mostly fine, there aren’t a lot of gust busters. Every few minutes you get a, "switching to four wheel drive" as the spaceship flies by, and they get in a few good shots at the French astronaut, but it's mainly along the lines of, "your stupid American computers," but it doesn't feel consistently great, just fine. Part of that is they get in some good jabs at the hokey science and effects, but there’s nothing painfully bad or really, really stupid about the movie to bring out the best in the writers; sure, there’s steam in space and invisible radio electric whatever masks and moon people you never see, but movies like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians been worse and goofier. 

This picture represents about 75% of MST3K movies

Mike pointing out the obvious lighting fixture above the set.

Not pictured: a budget that included helmets with masks.

What makes this episode shine is the short. This is another one where a goofy, insane short upstages the main feature, and boy, is “Design for Dreaming” goddamn bats. Imagine a 50s Broadway backup dancer having a fever dream about a General Motors show on the cars and appliances of the future. Of the things that make for great fodder for MST, “bizarre” is near the top, and Mike and the Bots are just in love with how delirious the short is, from the voice-over narration in palce of speaking, to the improbably futuristic punch-card operating ovens, to the dance sequences. “I had a near death experience like this” quotes Crow, appropriately. I first saw this on one of the shorts collections Rhino put on VHS/DVD years ago, and it say something that this is in the middle-range of bizarre shorts they’ve watched. 

Dancing and cars. Because why not?

Push button birthday cake. Better than flying cars!

                                                                                                   
 This leads to the the host segments, which are on point as well, to borrow what I think is a tennis saying and since I don’t care about sports I won’t be double checking that. We start with Mike’s awkward dinner date with Gypsy, then Mike playing tennis with Crow and Servo. Then there’s TV’s Frank giving a roast to Dr. Forrester that goes from jovial to deeply insulting, which leads to Dr. F beating the unholy hell out of Frank. But then, first host segment into the movie, Nuveena, Woman of the Future (played by Bridget Jones Nelson, wife of Mike) teleports onto the SOL, speaking through dance and son and wanting to whisk Mike away to live in the Land of Tomorrow. Seeing Mike fall for  an insane and cute dancing magic woman, and having to sing to communicate with her, is a blast. The Bots reacting to this is even better. The Bots being turned into terrified appliances at the end by Nuveena, prompting Mike to have to call things off, is fantastic. It’s not often the show does a continuous story or theme with the host segments, but when they do, they’re something special. And the Nuveena skits are among the best things MST has done. 

Nuveena charming Mike and terrifying the Bots

It’s just too bad the meat of the show, Mike and the Bots ripping into a bad movie, while fine, can’t quite match the manic joy from the short and Nuveena story. But combined, they still make for a very unique MST episode worth seeing.

Short in a riff:
“I had a near death experience like this.” –Crow

Movie in a riff:

“THERE’S NO STEAM IN A VACUUM!” –Servo, about the millionth time.

Randon Asides:

-this episode introduces two important things to the MST3K lexicon: the dream/nightmarelike short “Design for Dreaming”, and the overly-masculine nicknames given to lead astronaut John Anderson, which would be expanded upon and perfected in Space Mutiny. My favorite of them here: “Tank Concrete, astronaut.”

-Many characters from MST movies have made repeat occurances in the host segments (See: Pitch, from Santa Claus, Mr. B. Natural, etc). It’s too bad Nuveena never showed up again. Can you imagine if she and Mr. B ever met? The world could’ve imploded.

-This is the end of the first season with Mike as host, and only about 12 episodes in, the show is already nailing his relationship with the Bots; awkward co workers and (mostly) friendly ribbing. When Mike is stuck in an awkward dinner date w Gypsy, Tom asks if they should help him out, and Crow responds, “Not for all the candy in the world.”

-I’ve read about Servo’s tennis based flip outs (“I am having hard enough a time!” “Why don’t you grow some hair!”) since I first bought the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide years ago. I have no idea why those aspects stuck with me, but glad to finally see them in context. And Servo yelling is always great.

-Dr. F’s roast gets harsh, fast. And c’mon, including the mole people, Deep 13 is like 4 guys. You’re not fooling anyone that this isn’t just an excuse for some toadying, Dr. F.

-You can’t fool me, Design for Dreaming, but the guy in the tuxedo and mask is totally Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.

-The future kitchen is lame, but the future fridge, with its circular windowed design, is badass.

-Example of the goofy movie’s pretension: first words spoken by classic actor Francis X. Bushman: “Hello, the world.” Joking aside, international broadcasts like this would end up happening with the actual moon landing.

-Speaking of teasing the movie, Moon Zero Two would come out just  9 years later, and would be not just more scientifically accurate, but groovier too. Interesting to compare the two.

-So, the entry to the spaceship is watched by just two guards, and with no crowds or anything.

-I’m glad the proto-NASA settled all the interpersonal disputres among the crew before they left for space. It sure would’ve been awkward if, say, the German scientist’s Nazi dad was responsible for the death of the family of the Jewish scientist, or if the French scientist might have some mental issues that would cause him to go bonkers.

-What’s with all the circular spaceship designs in 50s movies?

-I swear to God, those have to be the same damn rocketship effects used in Phantom Planet.

-You could make a very dangerous drinking game out of every time the movie cuts to a shot of the exterior of the ship, the various gyro meters and Pong-looking electronic screens inside.

-With two female scientists and their discussion of science as well as air-based showering, this movie passes the Bechdel Test.That totally makes it not goofy and stupid!

-Does ANYTHING come from the “evil hot rock” they find on the moon? Also, if it can burn on the moon, but putting it in an oxygen free chamber means it can’t, that means there’s air on the moon. Which we knew there wasn’t. Why am I complaining about the science in this movie?

--Also, they don’t put the thing in storage or whatever, they just shove it in a corner of the ship. Good job.

-In light of a shot of a volcano for the movie’s dramatic ending, please enjoy this footage of a solar flare.

-I love Paul Chaplin's comments in the ACEG about how America is one of the greatest civilizations, up there with Egypt, and how he views the giant cars in the short as like the pyramids: "Tha'ts how I think about those big old GM cars: They're like the pyramids. And they get about the same mileage! Thank you! I"m outta here!!"

-There are a TON of connections between this and other MST episodes. According to Satellite News, "Producer and story writer Fred Gebhardt also worked in The Phantom Planet. Special effects guy Howard A. Anderson (also worked on Women of the Prehistoric Planet, King Dinosaur, The Amazing Transparent Man and It Lives By Night. Set designer John Burton also worked on The Girl in Lovers Lane and High School Big Shot. In front of the camera, Ken Clark also appeared in Attack of the Giant Leeches. Anthony Dexter also appeared in The Phantom Planet and Fire Maidens of Outer Space. Richard Weber also appeared in The Phantom Planet. Tom Conway also appeared in The She Creature. Francis X. Bushman also appeared in The Phantom Planet." The Phantom Planet comparisons are the most obvious to me; they feel cut from the same cloth, stylistically.

-Director David Bradley only made 9 movies. His last? They Saved Hitler's Brain!

-Why do the moon aliens take the cats again? Could it be...?!?

Watch the full episode here!

Additional Links:
Satellite News review