703 - Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell

Potatoes are what WE eat!

Somewhere, a generic fantasy game is missing its PC.

Creature features and sci-fi movies from the 50s and 60s feel like MST3K’s bread and butter. So, a low budget sword and sorcery movie really stands out. And while Cave Dwellers has the best reputation of the fantasy movies covered on the show, I think Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell may be the best wanna-be Conan to be riffed.

                                 

Actually the third in a series produced by Roger Corman, though largely unconnected to the others, this entry begins with warrior Deathstalker putting on a show in a quant medieval fair alongside wizard friend Nicias, who is busy predicting the weather and goat health for local dirt farmers. But, Nicias approached by Carissa, a woman with a magic stone that is definitely not a shiny glass doorknob. Hot on her heels are a cadre of villainous knights, their leader wearing a spiffy bat themed helmet, out for the gem. After seeking Deathstalker’s protection, he fails and she’s promptly slain. But, Deathstalker finds her twin sister, Elizena, a princess, who is engaged to the villainous Troxartas, (Thom Christopher aka Hawk from Buck Rogers) and who has the other stone. With these stones, Troxceratops can…be more powerful? More evil? It’s pretty vague, as magic usually is in movies like these. Either way, Truckasaurus also has the titular Warriors from Hell, slain fighters whose souls he keeps in a wine jar next to the Sangria in the fridge and who function more as high level, and very resentful, lackeys than as all powerful warriors. This results in all manner of low rent fighting, cheap special effects, a lot of low budget charm, and approximately one million Renaissance Fair jokes.

Batman jokes vs. Monty Python jokes: which will win?

There’s so much that’s right about this movie, or fails in the right way,that make it such a perfect candidate for riffing. Jon Allen Nelson swings so hard for that Han Solo swagger and misses, but has just enough charm to be a Diet Nathan Fillion-enjoyable hero; bad at seducing, bad at fighting, fun to watch anyway. The sets aren’t very convincing, but they have the sort of “let’s put ona show” charm MST itself often has. The women are pretty, there’s some goofy fights, and the music, synth dredge that the late 80s and early 90s drowned in, sounds like Casio farts and manages to go from bad to entertainingly bad. And then there’s Thom Christopher as the bad guy Troxartas, hamming it up with weird delivery, outfits with either too short sleeves or *gasp*  no pants, and coming across like an evil, balding Hank Azaria. The movie feels like a bad, failing play put on by your friends, but they’re you’re friends, and  you’re all drunk, so you’re having the time of your lives. In the episode guide entry written for Satellite News, Kevin Murphy pretty damn perfectly sums it up when he says, “It’s the perfect MST film , one that fails on every conceivable level, fails so miserably that it transcends failure and becomes a thing of sheer delight”.

Troxartas raising the dead and not wearing a full outfit.

Murphy also says it’s obvious he and many MST cast and crew loathed ren fairs, so watching this is like going to a ren fair with Mike and the Bots: in other words, a great time with hilarious friends. They make fun of everything, from the sets to the weather of the Mexican locals to even the font used in the opening credits (“Extra Stuff Germanic” Mike/Tom calls it). They laugh at the sets, are repulsed by Deathstalker’s would-be ladykilling, and enthralled in how ludicrous the entire endeavor is. It’s a smorgasbord of feelings, all of them joyful. And their joy at riffing the movie permeates Every. Single. Joke. They’re on fire in this one, throwing out tons of jokes, most of which, but not all, are hilarious. I counted about 3 running gags involving their disgust with Deathstalker’s personality, the Bat Helmets worn by Troxartas’ chief enforcer, and Trox’s home life style bickering with his wife. And I also counted at least three monty python references. If it had a musical number, an annoyingly precocious kid, an annoying wacky sidekick, some ick factor and some rubber monsters, they might as well have stopped the show here. Don’t think that movie exists, though.

Renaissance Fairs: gussied up bank account robbers.

The only real failings is not all the jokes are hilarious, just 80%, and the middle host segment, when Mike wants more ren fair activities and Tom and Crow just half-assedly throw some together, is a weak retreat of the first. Thankfully, Crow reading a trashy romance novel to the beleaguered and sick Pearl in the next segment makes up for it. Oh, and did I mention Pearl is sick, and is constantly, constantly yelling out “Clayton? Clayton! Clayton!” every scene she’s in, driving her poor mad scientist son even madder? I love angry despot Pearl, but pestering mother Pearl is a joy all its own.

Clayton? Clayton! Claydin! CLAYYUN!

This episode became a new favorite of mine at light speed. It’s only slightly under some of my oldest and most beloved episodes, needing just a tad more of that magic to make it a classic. But if you want to watch Mike and the Bots tear into something different, hate renaissance fairs, or have never even seen an episode before, this is a damn good place to start! Huzzah! (Had to get one in, sorry.)

Episode in a Riff: Hell, let’s go with three!

The directors vision; confusion wracked with ambiguity. – Tom

This movie’s like playing Doom, but there’s no monsters or opponents. -Crow
This is one of the most ambitiously bad movies we’ve ever done. –Mike

Random Asides:

-I’d first seen clips of this episode back in college waaaay back in the days when fans were just starting to put the show on YouTube. I didn’t watch, preferring to wait for a DVD release. But damn, was watching it for the first time, and waiting for the DVD, worth it

-S7 has a theme song I don’t here often, due to Season 7 being significantly shorter than the others. It's fun to see something different, though.

-SOL starting to get darker visually too, leading into SciFi years

-I Love Pearl, and seeing her and DrF bouncing off each other is good.

-Solid acting from them in the first two segments. Crow’s mouth movements are smaller and more subtle with his hairpiece, and quiver as the teen at the drive thru, and servo has nice sharp breath intakes

-Somewhere, sometime, members of MST3K all went to a renaissance fair. I can’t imagine a more fun group to go with. That must’ve been amazing

-Who’s the cutest: -cute princess, evil queen, or bow and arrow girl?

-Nancy Kerrigan IS pretty, Tom

-Is that the Aztec from Pumaman as one of the guards around 25m in?

-Troxartas: not sorry for not wearing pantr\s

- Thom Christopher also played Hawk on Buck Rogers, who is also the basis for Bird Person on Rick and Morty.  

-Oh my GOD THOM CHRISTOPHER IS IN WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM!

-Seeing Thom Christopher talking about making this goofy movie and the hand made parrying knife is heartwarming. His love of his fellow actors,Terri Treas and John Allen Nelson, is also heartwarming 

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