1105 - The Beast of Hollow Mountain

Ah, clear blue skies. The hallmark of any good monster movie. 

Theropod arms are not made for house repair.

Yes, the awesome dinosaur and cowboys movie on MST3K! Wait, not the Harryhausen one? It’s true! There’s not one, but two movies featuring rodeos and stop motion-a-saurs. Alas, no, this isn’t the Ray Harryhausen effects bonanza The Valley ofGwangi. That movie is WAY too good for MST3K. No, this is the much lesser known, much lesser Beast of Hollow Mountain. It’s a movie I’ve only been vaguely aware of, but aware enough to get excited upon seeing it on the show. This was also the episode that really settled how I felt about the brand new season, after taking Max’s advice that shows don’t get good until around episode 5. And as I said in my review of Reptilicus, I’m glad I did. And though I haven’t seen the second half of the new season, this episode makes me want more, especially since it’s become a new personal favorite. Having a dinosaur in the movie doesn’t hurt, either.
 

The year: 18-Old-West. The place: Somewhere, Mexico. Cowboy Jimmy is starting up a ranch, working with his buddy Felipe, aggravating local bigwig Enrique, and falling for local beauty (and Enrique’s fiancé) Sarita. Meanwhile, comic relief Pancho and his son Panchito become friends with Jimmy and Felipe and agree to help run their ranch after Enrique scares off the rest of their help. Soon, Jimmy and Sarita begin to see more of each other, causing friction between them and Enrique, which threatens Jimmy and Felipe’s business prospects in town. Also, occasionally an animal or extra disappears in the swamps near Hollow Mountain, and finally, a frickin’ hour in, the Beast, a stop-motion Allosaurus, appears, which somehow leads the various plot threads to a poorly edited conclusion. 

Picture: Jimmy, Sarita, beautiful vistas. Not pictured: A Beast

Before this episode, I always felt a little nervous watching the revival episodes. I’d be anxious how Jonah and the Bots would do, noticing every mistake, feeling the pain of every forced riff and too-quick paced joke, like a bee of anxiety buzzing around my head. This was the episode I stopped watching with that sense of apprehension. This one I watched 95% chill, feeling like Jonah, Baron, and Hampton had settled into their groove and the show had mastered its new tricks. In stark contrast to Reptilicus, the SOL crew felt relaxed, confident, and most of all, funny. They take their time riffing, coming across calm and confident. This not only affects how funny a joke is, but their in-theater chemistry, which feels natural and friendly.

That, and the new SOL crew just crams the jokes in. About five minutes into the movie, they joke with references to The Three Amgios, Westworld, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and I think Breaking Bad within the span of about 30 seconds. Then there’s your classic line of MST riffing: literate jokes, like Servo reacting to a character getting a letter and saying, “Letter delivered by Ponyboy Express. It just says ‘stay gold”; obscure references, like Jonah reacting to a shot of the Beast’s feet and asking, “Earl Sinclair?”; and the insightfully hilarious, as when a character says, “When a man is in love, he is not himself,” to which Crow replies, “He is another, stupider man.” Even the filming of the host segments seems improved, rising above being level with the desk and having less space surrounding Jonah and the Bots.

The improvements don’t stop there. Baron Vaughn continues to grow as Servo. His voice is much more distinctly pompous. He really shines in the “Beast of Hollow Mountain Fashion” skit, and also nails Tom’s snobbishness during the “Monster Movie Pitch” segment. There are seven some riffs done in the same style as earlier in the season, like when Servo, upon seeing Pancho and Panchito climbing the Hollow Mountain, riffs, “The story of Abraham and Isaac as you’ve never seen it before! Gritty, real, relevant.” It’s almost too long, but it’s told so much better than similar ones earlier on. And when Jonah sees one of the many cowboys riding a horse says, “I’m a cowboy! On an actual horse I ride!”, he mutters a few more lyrics as he trails off, in the good way someone nonchalantly telling jokes to friends would, rather than of somebody desperately trying to be funny. Even the in-theater silhouette action, like Crow riding a horse through a scene, isn’t nearly as numerous or intrusive. The host segments continue to improve, especially the third, the weird Mask Dance/Ceremony one, where Servo and Crow wear weird party masks like in the movie and dance around, chanting gibberish, driving Jonah and the Mads insane. It’s pure madness, and I adore it. 
 

THE MADNESS! THE MADNESS!

Still, it’s not perfect. There’s a tiff between Servo and Crow regarding a Machu Pichu joke that just feels fake, and a few running gags like Jimmy being proud of understanding one word of Spanish or them substituting the movie’s title in for famous song lyrics (“And the cat’s in cradle of the Hollow Mountain…”) that just don’t work.  But even when a joke is bad, like Servo, upon seeing a crowd of people, says, “They’re lining up to get the new ‘Aye Aye Phone,” their delivery is so improved its hard not to laugh a little. And if I’m being really honest, I just used that one as an example it’s groan-worthy, and I loved it.

As for the movie, if my synopsis doesn’t clue you in, yeah, this is a cowboy movie first and a “cowboy movie with dinosaurs” movie second. The Beast attacks people and animals off camera occasionally for the first hour, then finally shows up with about 30 minutes left to harass the main characters with mediocre stop-motion and composite shots that aren’t fooling anybody. The cowboy stuff is mainly a melodrama involving a two-sided love triangle, some bartering for stock prices, and drunk comic relief a-plenty. It’s not too painful, not too slow, not very interesting, and barely a monster movie. It has a lot to offer riff-wise regarding genre and content, but not enough poor-quality wise to make a truly great episode, even though I do love it. Sure, they try an apply a “dumb American” identity to main character Jimmy, but he’s not dumb, interesting, or annoying enough to even be memorable. He’s just blandly charming and smug and that’s it. Pancho, the drunken comedy relief, isn’t very funny or annoying, just kind of pathetic. Heck, due to the movie being a Mexican/American coproduction, there aren’t even any vile racial stereotypes! Then there’s the Beast itself, which mostly just snarls and wags its giant Mick Jagger tongue, and that’s about it. 

Feel free to make a Gene Simmons joke, as well.

Despite the riffing only being consistently good and not constantly hilarious, watching Beast of Hollow Mountain, with its gorgeous vistas and languid pace, with Jonah and the Bots is a lot like going on vacation to places I love out west, and going there with good, goofy friends. The riffs aren’t as strong as in Time Machine and the movie isn’t as bad or weird as Cry Wilderness, but anytime MST3K makes me feel like I’m hanging out laughing with friends, the show doesn’t just touch my funny bone, it touches my heart. That’s sappy, and I mean it.  

The beautiful West and the SOL Crew. My idea of a perfect vacation.

Episode in a Riff:

During a scene of men looking over documents: “They’re looking through the script to make sure there’s actually a beast in this movie” –Servo

Random Asides:

-My first episode to review with dinosaurs! Well, a dinosaur. And a stop motion one too! No lizards with fins glued on or cheap rubber puppets here.

-I used to think this movie and The Valley of Gwangi came out around the same time. Nope! Turns out, not only was Beast first, it beat Gwangi by 13 years! According to Wikipedia, the movie was based on an unproduced screenplay by King Kong animator Willis O’Brien, a screenplay called “The Valley of the Mist” which, you guessed it, later became the beloved Harryhausen flick.

-I have no idea what the Mads’ invention is supposed to be, other than hot water on cruise liners.

-“How many times has this happened to you? You wanna be at a disco, but you’re not at a disco.” EVERYDAY, JONAH.

-I LOVE their dinosaur cut-outs for the movie ending

-This isn’t the only movie with cowboys and dinosaurs in it. There’s a move on Netflix literally called “Cowboys and Dinosaurs”, but I haven’t had the nerve to check it out yet. Could be B-movie fun, could be Asylum-level schlock.

-I can’t believe I just noticed there are subtitles on this! MST has needed those for a long time. They’ve been on YouTube editions, but glad to see them here.

-I counted five references to Blazing Saddles, most of which are them saying a character rode a type of saddle in tune to the theme song. Did I miss any others?

-You may scoff at the stop-motion used to bring the Beast to life, but should you think it’s terrible, may I direct your attention to the last episode I reviewed?

-Jimmy’s plan to lure the Beast into the swamp by swinging around at it is duuuumb.

-There’s a scene where Sarita ties her horse up next to Jimmy’s and goes up the mountain to see him. When she comes back down, her horse is gone, implying the Beast ate it. But Jimmy’s horse is still calmly standing there. In other words, the movie is implying Jimmy’s horse hated Sarita’s horse and was conspiring with the Beast to get rid of it. A perfect plan!

-Not only do the make a “watch out for snakes” joke and double check later on in the episode to make sure they did, they also get in a “this is where the fish lives”, an MST reference in need of more love. *Applauds*

-Yes Jimmy, now your rare, priceless cows are safe from the common, everyday dinosaur.

-Pancho shots a guy Frank Reynold’s style: punching the air, like it will make the bullets go faster. Love it.

-I like the concerted efftort to give Gypsy and Cambot more to do. Hope it builds to some memorable skits.

-We get a non-cliché Hispanic characters with Felipe, Sarita and others. Nice!

-27 minutes in, Jimmy and Sarita come back to where they had both tied up their horses to find one missing. Obviously the Beast ate one, but the other doesn’t panic and try to run away?       

-There’s a looong fight between Jimmy and Enrique that, after my first watching, reminded me of the epic alley fight from They Live. Then, upon my second viewing, I noticed they make a, “I’ve come to chew bubble gum and kick ass,” joke. Well done, guys!

Not pictured: Roddy Piper and Keith David.

-Of the many running gags used in this one, the best is the “Jimmy can’t read.”

-This episode would make a second feature for a double viewing with Gwangi.

Additional Link: 
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