Women
CAN make a difference!
 |
| This movie has a plot n' stuff. |
Man,
there are some episodes of MST3K that just stick with you. I think I’ve watched
Angels’ Revenge, a Charlie’s Angels rip-off with about seven sexy
women out to take out a drug ring, about a few hundred times But, it’s been a while since I’ve seen it.
Does it still hold up? Can I still recite most of the riffs by heart? Oh, yeah.
Bobby
is a young boy with a drug problem: namely, he gets beaten up for stealing from
his pusher. His relative, singer Michelle Wilson, is... you know what? Let’s
back up. The movie starts with an action scene of Michelle, Bobby’s teacher
April, and four other hot women in tight, cleavage friendly jumpsuits storming
a drug-processing plant and fighting drug makers with the worst fight
choreography ever. The drug pusher is played by Jack Palance, in one of the
roles that makes you understand why he apparently never watched his own films.
There, that’s the movie. All the drug stuff and endangered relatives who never
show up again are just a pretense so that hot women can run around pretend
fighting bad guys while slumming character actors make appearances.
 |
| A reminder: this man was in Shane and Batman and won an Oscar. |
The
question isn’t how good is this movie for MST3K, but how could it be any
better? Some movies have one or two elements that make them ripe for riffing,
but Angels’ Revenge has about ten movies’ worth. You get an all time
classic! Ridiculous plot? How about seven hot, multiracial women joining
together to fight drug dealers in an obvious Charlie’s Angels rip off? Goofy and dumb elements? When the women
fight, the accompanying sound effects are “boinks” and “sproings” out of a
Saturday morning cartoon. Terrible performances? This has Jim Backus of Gilligan’s
Island fame playing a far-right militia leader and a very, very inebriated
Peter Lawford as the drug kingpin. God, there’s even a disco song sung by one
of the women! Oh, and don’t forget that the movie is from what may be the MST3K
writers’ favorite era: the 70s. The movie also has a brisk pace, moving from
one dumb moment to the next, keeping the pain coming.
 |
| Some poor guy in the audience: "I saw this instead of Led Zepplin." |
Needless
to say, Mike and the Bots are bemused, befuddled, entertained, enraged, and
disgusted by this movie. Any movie that makes them have just one of those
reactions tends to make for a good episode, but all those and more? Just their
visceral reactions are as funny as any riffs they make. And oh, do they make
some fantastic jokes. There’s of course digs at the gratuitous nature of the
flick, like when there’s a group shot of the movie’s fine ladies, Mike asks in
a girly voice, “Okay, who’s not
thrusting?” Tom calls their souped-up battle van, “Knight Rider, for
moms!” And when the movie’s shining
musical number “Shine Shine Shine Your Love” is played to a racous Vegas crowd,
Crow says, “This audience would riot if they saw KC and the Sunshine Band!”
They are full invested in riffing on this movie from frame one and never, ever
let up.
 |
| They should've brought this invention back. |
Oh,
I thought of a second thing to nitpick: the host segments aren’t very good.
They’re not bad, mind you, but almost all of them are based around some loose
70s ephemera rolling around in the back of the writers’ heads, loosely
connected to the decade the hunk of cinema cheese is from. Mike dresses as the
Fonz and the Mads dress as 70s relief pitchers. Crow does write a
blacksploitation film, though, and its funny seeing him, Mike, Tom, and Gypsy
in 70s outfits, but that’s about it.
 |
| Mike's suit is nice, at least. |
Again,
I had to nitpick to find anything wrong with this one. This is one of my
favorite episodes, one of the best they’ve ever done, and would even make a
great entry episode for people new to the show. Either way, watch this one the
next time you get the chance.
Episode
in a riff:
This
movie is a shrine for 7th grade boys! -Crow
Random
Asides:
-Bill
Corbett’s first episode as a writer! Wow.
-I’m
really not the type to pick between Joel or Mike as hosts (Jonah’s on his way,
don’t worry). That said, some movies fit one of the hosts better, and I think
Mike’s sarcasm and acerbic wit fit this semi-sleazy piece of 70s slop better
than Joel’s goofy delivery would’ve.
-according
to MST Wiki, there’s an entire cut segment featuring Nevelle Brand. Just a good
reminder than the MST version of a movie isn’t the whole thing (see also:
entire monster fights cut from Gamera movies, R rated parts trimmed from
Squirm, etc)
-When
I was rewatching this episode for review, I’d been house and pet sitting, and
it was about the most human contact outside of my girlfriend I’d had in days.
Ah, so nice.
-”I,
of all people, Crow T. Robot, have amnesia!”
-Crow
singing Eric Carmen was pretty nice.
-This
episode came out near the end of Mike’s first full season as a host, and he and
the crew are riding high.
-The
first host segment is based around Mike being turned into the star of the TV
show Renegade. Just one of many pop cultural references I know only because of
this show. Also, fairly certain MST3K”s cultural clout is larger than that
show’s.
-Jack
Palance looks the damn same for about 20-30 years of his career: old and
haggard. He wears it well.
-I
would’ve killed to have seen Crow’s blacksploitation movie Chocolate Jones and
the Temple of Funk.
-Just
to recap, at the 20 minute mark, this movie has had scantily clad women assault
a desert compound, a kid gets beat up by a drug dealer, and then a woman stings
a terrible disco song. First. 20. Minutes.
-Of
all the TV character actors who slum into this picture, Alan Hale Jr. comes off
the best, or at least the least-bad.
-A
couple questions: 1. How did they get April the schoolteacher’s fingerprints
off wire cutters left outside in the dirt. 2. Why was she in the system?!
-The
scene where Kako tortures the drug dealer who’s been hanged upside down by
slicing in between his legs with a katana is like something out of a Tarantino
movie, but worse. Ouch!
-Was
Arthur Godfrey known for being a creep or something? They make a ton of jokes
about him skeezing on Michelle in her dressing room and making lewd phone calls
to her. Anyone with more knowledge of 50s-70s showbiz k now?
-Tom:
“Even a run of the mill palooka like Crow could tell you there were a lot of
shameful performances in today’s movie!” Crow: ‘He’s right, I could!”
-The final joke in the movie is a group shot of the girls, and Mike asking, "Hey, where was Bruce Jenner in this?" and Tom replying, "he's the one on the left." Who among the writers has a time machine?
-The final joke in the movie is a group shot of the girls, and Mike asking, "Hey, where was Bruce Jenner in this?" and Tom replying, "he's the one on the left." Who among the writers has a time machine?
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