524 - 12 to the Moon

No, that's the Mars button!

A dozen dopes to the Moon

 MST3K and space movies go together like peanut butter and chocolate. And if that movie is a 50s space clunker with limited understanding of science and goofy special effects, and you get one of those amazing Reese’s holiday shapes that somehow taste even better. But 12 to the Moon isn’t quite one of those amazing Christmas tree or Easter egg shaped treats, like Space Mutiny. But it’s more like…what are some of the lesser holiday shaped Reese’s? Arbor day? No, that would be a tree, too. Whatever. Point is, this is a pretty good, but not fantastic, episode.

The movie takes place in the not too distant future (for 1960), as an international, multicultural team of astronauts, 12 to be exact, make man’s first trip to the moon , along with a few animals for science/moon snacks. Imagine the science of a movie from before the moon landing, made by B-producers, with A-level pretensions, and an “F” in actual science, and you’ve got a pretty accurate idea for how the whole thing comes across. The absolute best is the "invisible electro magnetic ray screen" they put on over their helmets because they couldn't afford prop helmets with visors. Glorious. There’s gravity on the ship, steam on the moon, and very visible cyc lights and background curtain rods in view. It’s about as archetypal goofy 50s B-movie as it gets. So, damn near perfect fodder for Mike and the Bots. And they definitely enjoy themselves, with a high percentage of jokes per minute. And while they’re mostly fine, there aren’t a lot of gust busters. Every few minutes you get a, "switching to four wheel drive" as the spaceship flies by, and they get in a few good shots at the French astronaut, but it's mainly along the lines of, "your stupid American computers," but it doesn't feel consistently great, just fine. Part of that is they get in some good jabs at the hokey science and effects, but there’s nothing painfully bad or really, really stupid about the movie to bring out the best in the writers; sure, there’s steam in space and invisible radio electric whatever masks and moon people you never see, but movies like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians been worse and goofier. 

This picture represents about 75% of MST3K movies

Mike pointing out the obvious lighting fixture above the set.

Not pictured: a budget that included helmets with masks.

What makes this episode shine is the short. This is another one where a goofy, insane short upstages the main feature, and boy, is “Design for Dreaming” goddamn bats. Imagine a 50s Broadway backup dancer having a fever dream about a General Motors show on the cars and appliances of the future. Of the things that make for great fodder for MST, “bizarre” is near the top, and Mike and the Bots are just in love with how delirious the short is, from the voice-over narration in palce of speaking, to the improbably futuristic punch-card operating ovens, to the dance sequences. “I had a near death experience like this” quotes Crow, appropriately. I first saw this on one of the shorts collections Rhino put on VHS/DVD years ago, and it say something that this is in the middle-range of bizarre shorts they’ve watched. 

Dancing and cars. Because why not?

Push button birthday cake. Better than flying cars!

                                                                                                   
 This leads to the the host segments, which are on point as well, to borrow what I think is a tennis saying and since I don’t care about sports I won’t be double checking that. We start with Mike’s awkward dinner date with Gypsy, then Mike playing tennis with Crow and Servo. Then there’s TV’s Frank giving a roast to Dr. Forrester that goes from jovial to deeply insulting, which leads to Dr. F beating the unholy hell out of Frank. But then, first host segment into the movie, Nuveena, Woman of the Future (played by Bridget Jones Nelson, wife of Mike) teleports onto the SOL, speaking through dance and son and wanting to whisk Mike away to live in the Land of Tomorrow. Seeing Mike fall for  an insane and cute dancing magic woman, and having to sing to communicate with her, is a blast. The Bots reacting to this is even better. The Bots being turned into terrified appliances at the end by Nuveena, prompting Mike to have to call things off, is fantastic. It’s not often the show does a continuous story or theme with the host segments, but when they do, they’re something special. And the Nuveena skits are among the best things MST has done. 

Nuveena charming Mike and terrifying the Bots

It’s just too bad the meat of the show, Mike and the Bots ripping into a bad movie, while fine, can’t quite match the manic joy from the short and Nuveena story. But combined, they still make for a very unique MST episode worth seeing.

Short in a riff:
“I had a near death experience like this.” –Crow

Movie in a riff:

“THERE’S NO STEAM IN A VACUUM!” –Servo, about the millionth time.

Randon Asides:

-this episode introduces two important things to the MST3K lexicon: the dream/nightmarelike short “Design for Dreaming”, and the overly-masculine nicknames given to lead astronaut John Anderson, which would be expanded upon and perfected in Space Mutiny. My favorite of them here: “Tank Concrete, astronaut.”

-Many characters from MST movies have made repeat occurances in the host segments (See: Pitch, from Santa Claus, Mr. B. Natural, etc). It’s too bad Nuveena never showed up again. Can you imagine if she and Mr. B ever met? The world could’ve imploded.

-This is the end of the first season with Mike as host, and only about 12 episodes in, the show is already nailing his relationship with the Bots; awkward co workers and (mostly) friendly ribbing. When Mike is stuck in an awkward dinner date w Gypsy, Tom asks if they should help him out, and Crow responds, “Not for all the candy in the world.”

-I’ve read about Servo’s tennis based flip outs (“I am having hard enough a time!” “Why don’t you grow some hair!”) since I first bought the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide years ago. I have no idea why those aspects stuck with me, but glad to finally see them in context. And Servo yelling is always great.

-Dr. F’s roast gets harsh, fast. And c’mon, including the mole people, Deep 13 is like 4 guys. You’re not fooling anyone that this isn’t just an excuse for some toadying, Dr. F.

-You can’t fool me, Design for Dreaming, but the guy in the tuxedo and mask is totally Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.

-The future kitchen is lame, but the future fridge, with its circular windowed design, is badass.

-Example of the goofy movie’s pretension: first words spoken by classic actor Francis X. Bushman: “Hello, the world.” Joking aside, international broadcasts like this would end up happening with the actual moon landing.

-Speaking of teasing the movie, Moon Zero Two would come out just  9 years later, and would be not just more scientifically accurate, but groovier too. Interesting to compare the two.

-So, the entry to the spaceship is watched by just two guards, and with no crowds or anything.

-I’m glad the proto-NASA settled all the interpersonal disputres among the crew before they left for space. It sure would’ve been awkward if, say, the German scientist’s Nazi dad was responsible for the death of the family of the Jewish scientist, or if the French scientist might have some mental issues that would cause him to go bonkers.

-What’s with all the circular spaceship designs in 50s movies?

-I swear to God, those have to be the same damn rocketship effects used in Phantom Planet.

-You could make a very dangerous drinking game out of every time the movie cuts to a shot of the exterior of the ship, the various gyro meters and Pong-looking electronic screens inside.

-With two female scientists and their discussion of science as well as air-based showering, this movie passes the Bechdel Test.That totally makes it not goofy and stupid!

-Does ANYTHING come from the “evil hot rock” they find on the moon? Also, if it can burn on the moon, but putting it in an oxygen free chamber means it can’t, that means there’s air on the moon. Which we knew there wasn’t. Why am I complaining about the science in this movie?

--Also, they don’t put the thing in storage or whatever, they just shove it in a corner of the ship. Good job.

-In light of a shot of a volcano for the movie’s dramatic ending, please enjoy this footage of a solar flare.

-I love Paul Chaplin's comments in the ACEG about how America is one of the greatest civilizations, up there with Egypt, and how he views the giant cars in the short as like the pyramids: "Tha'ts how I think about those big old GM cars: They're like the pyramids. And they get about the same mileage! Thank you! I"m outta here!!"

-There are a TON of connections between this and other MST episodes. According to Satellite News, "Producer and story writer Fred Gebhardt also worked in The Phantom Planet. Special effects guy Howard A. Anderson (also worked on Women of the Prehistoric Planet, King Dinosaur, The Amazing Transparent Man and It Lives By Night. Set designer John Burton also worked on The Girl in Lovers Lane and High School Big Shot. In front of the camera, Ken Clark also appeared in Attack of the Giant Leeches. Anthony Dexter also appeared in The Phantom Planet and Fire Maidens of Outer Space. Richard Weber also appeared in The Phantom Planet. Tom Conway also appeared in The She Creature. Francis X. Bushman also appeared in The Phantom Planet." The Phantom Planet comparisons are the most obvious to me; they feel cut from the same cloth, stylistically.

-Director David Bradley only made 9 movies. His last? They Saved Hitler's Brain!

-Why do the moon aliens take the cats again? Could it be...?!?

Watch the full episode here!

Additional Links:
Satellite News review

Season 11 Trailer!!!

Here we go! Our first look at Season 11 of MST3k!!!



Where to start? Excitement, fear, slight hunger, mostly excitement. I love the look of the show; still the same old home-made special effects, but with just a little bit more. Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt look to be in fine form as the new mads, and was that Mary Jo Pehl as Pearl? I wish we'd gotten to hear and see more of the new Tom and Crow, as well as some jokes, but I'm too busy being excited that Reptlilcus, one of the most ridiculous Godzilla rip offs ever made, is going to be an episode! I have no idea what the others are, but if they're getting a legendary turkey like Reptilicus on there, I'm more psyched than I already was! What do y'all think?

607 - Bloodlust!

Welcome to Death Island.

Ah hunting people for sport. The most dangerous game! Is there anything more exciting, rewarding or intoxicating? To take a life to feel alive. Sure, it’s a big business now, over commercialized, and some people say toned down for families and kids to get involved in the thrill of the hunt, like what happened to Las Vegas. But I say, the more people who get involved, the better. 

Huh? Hunting people is illegal? You sure?

Manhunting, the old way, before Disney got their hands on it.

Bloodlust! is an okay episode. Not bad, but not hilarious. It’s about as average and worthy an episode as it gets. Which means, still better than 75% of other forms of entertainment. Four young people (including Brady dad Robert Reed) out on a boat excursion end up on an uncharted dessert isle I mean accidentally land ashore on an island owned by reclusive big game hunter Balleau, who runs a nature preserve of endangered species and vegan farm and kitchen; the title “Bloodlust!” is how he refers to meat eating society. Yeah, no, he hunts people for sport. He also has a wife and best friend on the island, somehow, as well as a full staff who seemed to be dressed like pirates. The movie is also a little gory for a late 50s/early 60s flick, but not like Night of the Living Dead gory.

If that doesn’t sound too bad of a movie…you’re right. And that might be part of the problem. This is on the lesser-awful scale of movies they’ve watched. It’s not too painful or memorable in any way, really. Which, unfortunately, means the Best Brains don’t have a lot to work with. Whereas horrid characters like in Hobgoblins or weirdness like in Santa Claus can give them something meaty to pounce on, something to engage their comedic senses, here there’s…just a mediocre thriller form the 60s that seems to have the stolid staginess of a bad 30s or 40s thriller. Sure, there’s a joke about Robert Reed here and there, some sarcasm at the whole hunting-people aspect, and some jokes about the fey-ness of the villain, but most of the jokes are just okay. There's random silliness like yelling “surprise! Happy birthday to you” when a character opens a door or saying, “Boy, am I cheesed” when Robert Reed is told he’s gonna be hunted for sport. They’re fine, and some jokes about a loose madman looking like John the Baptist are great, but that’s about it. Still, Mike and the Bots riff frequently, which keeps the episode rocking along. 

What does shine, however, is the short they watch before, Uncle Jim’s Dairy farm. Two kids are left at their uncle’s dairy farm as a way to show kids of the 50s what a farm is like. Whee. It’s bland 50s wholesome infotainment. And man, can Mike and the Bots make a meal out of 50s era blandness. Examples: “Now it’s time for Uncle Jim’s fundamentalist dogma.” “Despair was the bumper crop” and “Nessie and I are in love and you can’t stop us.” There’s a strange aspect to the riffing of the show; how it imposes a superior, funnier reality on top of the one of the original film, in a Phillip K. Dick kind of way. And the more disparity between the two, the stronger the episode feels. And man, are 50s educational shorts great for that, especially in the Mike era of the show. The short even spawns a great skit, where Crow calls out a square dance that turns into a punk rock mosh pit.

"We'd like to talk to you about He Who Walks Behind the Rows"

Country Mosh Pit

There is another aspect that makes this episode special, however, and that’s the introduction of Mary Jo Pehl as Dr. F’s mom, Pearl. Though here she’s more of a goofy mad scientist-y mom, she already shows that spark of anger that would go on to make Pearl such a great character and villain. Though the skits around her are just mostly funny ones about Midwestern passive-agressiveness as she ignores Dr. F to hang with Frank.

Bloodlust!, meanwhile, only inspires one skit, the “murder mystery dinner” bit, which is over in 5 seconds and has a quick punchline. It kind of encapsulates the episode as a whole. Not a lot to it, a handful of hilarious moments, and done. I’ve seen less funny episodes, and better ones. I realize now why I watched this one a lot in my late teens when it came out on video: it was only one of a few episodes I had, and the episodes it came packaged with (The Side Hackers and Creeping Terror on VHS; Terror, Skydivers and Catalina Caper on DVD) were as good or better.  But, I still like this episode and am glad to have seen it again after a while. That said, it’ll be a while before I watch it again.

Episode in a Riff

“This would be really suspenseful but for the fact that it isn’t” –Servo

Random Asides

                

-The PKD/Alternate reality aspect of the show also plays into the ‘every episode is a new world” feel I love from the  show, and the movie’s island setting and semi-gory tone add to that. Watching it with Mike and the Bots, it’s like being on a bad vacation alleviated due to good friends. Adding to that, the Rhino DVD set comes with the unedited version of the movie. Watching a movie without Mike or Joel and the Bots it’s a weird experience, and is almost surreal at first.

-The moody and colorful lights on the SOL deck really differentiate the Mike from the Joel era.

-The bots need a lot more therapy than they give each other in the intro segment.

-Mike’s only been in 17 episodes so far, but his combative buddy/workplace sitcom relationship he has with the bots is already solidifying

-Mike’s disinterested reading of the kiss-ass lines Dr. F has him and the Bots read to impress Pearl is great, especially when he just tosses the written notes away like trash. But Gypsy’s reaction, telling Pearl how sick Dr. F is, is even better.

-Gypsy says “bitch” at the end of the bit, and the Bots make a big deal of it. Funny how that’s become almost not a cuss word now, and how little the show used language like that at the time.

-My first episode review that has a short!

-You can tell some of the writers on this show have been on a farm. Watching this reminds of my Dad talking about living on a ranch when he was younger. It sounded way more interesting than Uncle Jim’s place, though.

-The music for this sure sounded familiar. Turns out the composer, Michael Terr, did the music for MST-ied movies King Dinosaur, The Violent Years, The Sinister Urge, and The Unearthly

                                                                                           

-Both director Ralph Brooke and star Wilton Graff were dead before the 60s were out.

-I like Crow sticking his head behind the cow’s butt at minute 12

-Good Munch reference to the movie’s skeletal title card

-Exxon Valdez reference. 90s!

-I like how, at the start of the “Vegables Stand” skit, Mike goes off to be Kenny G somewhere. I think hosting skits is a part of daily life on the SOL.

-Mike has a snide/fey villain voice he uses for Balleau that crops up in other episodes. I adore it!

-So, this guy who hunts people for sport has both a wife and best friend who live on the island with him? What the hell did he say to get them there? “Fun, exciting! Like a never ending hunting trip.”

-After they betray him, he gets them hunted and mounted quick.

-I like how he details his plans to hunt and kill the four main characters while seated at his desk, they surround him, and there are weapons on the walls. And when he does hunt people, they tend to stand still or beg and move slowly. It’s like the male equivalent of the female “grab area”. 

Ballaeu, center, explaining to the people surrounding him and near the weapons on the walls how he's going to hunt them for sport. "We've got him surrounded. We're helpless!"

-There are some babes in this flick, especially for the time.

-How does Weeny McGlasses make it through this movie? If it were made even 5 years later he’d be the first to go.

-How does Ballaeu have like only 3 trophies but he’s been hunting people for years, and then kills like 5 people in one day? That’s just gluttonous.

-I’m amazed Crow and Tom even felt they needed an excuse to just throw a net on Mike at the end.

-I never saw Cliffhanger either, Crow.

Watch the Full Episode Here!

Additional Link
 MST3K Info Review
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