For anyone who doesn't know, MST3K creator Joel Hodgson recently started a new Kickstarter to bring the world more episodes of MST3K and a streaming service for it: the Gizmoplex! So come on, fellow MSTies, let's make this happen!
Click here for more details!
Godzilla!
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| Godzilla earning his dinner a true monster's way. |
Peanut butter and chocolate. Chicken and waffles. MST3K and GODZILLA. Two great tastes that taste great together! Their meeting tantalized me upon my discovery of the show when I saw the Godzilla clip in the intro, but it was a few years before I was able to secure the episode through tape-trading. And while it doesn’t come as close to greatness as the show’s Gamera episodes would, seeing my beloved Big G riffed by Joel and the Bots was, and still is, a treat.
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| Literally just an excuse to post another picture of Godzilla. |
Taking place in the middle of the original run of Godzilla films known as the “Showa Era”, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster starts with a boat being sunk by the titular Sea Monster, Ebirah. We then follow Ryota and two of his friends as they try to locate his brother who was on said boat. They steal a sailboat, only to find the owner, Yoshimura, already aboard. But it’s okay, since he’s actually a bank robber on the run, and the boat is attacked by the Sea Monster anyway. The four wash ashore on an unnamed Pacific island which is occupied by a terrorist force known as the Red Bamboo. They’re creating nuclear weapons and use slave labor to make a yellow liquid that repels Ebirah, which grants their forces safe passage and keeps people off the island and slaves from escaping. The castaways hook up with Daiyo, an escaped slave, and learn she is from Infant Island, home of Mothra, whom the slaves are praying will awaken and rescue them. The five make a lightning rod to awaken Godzilla to fight Ebirah. Ryota escapes via balloon to Infant Island and meets up with his brother. One of their friends gets kidnapped, and he convinces the slaves to make fake liquid. Eventually, Godzilla shows up and trashes the Red Bamboo base, as they’re elbowing in on his mass destruction racket, so they turn on the island’s self-destruct function and sail off. But their phony liquid fails to repel Ebirah, who kills them. Ebirah then gets in a fight with and kills Godzilla. Just kidding! Godzilla’s a mutated indestructible force of nature that breathes radioactive fire and Ebirah is literally a giant shrimp; G whoops him handily, literally. Mothra shows up to rescue everyone in a quickly-made bassinet for humans and Godzilla swims off to safety. Safety for him. Not the rest of the world. It’s still in danger from him. So, happy ending!
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| Here is a gratuitous picture of Mothra. |
As far as Godzilla movies go, Sea Monster is somewhere in the middle in terms of quality. Ebirah isn’t a very interesting monster, and there’s none of the deeper symbolism of the earlier films, nor the punishingly cheesy elements of later ones, like in the previous episode’s Godzilla vs. Megalon. But it does move along quickly, there’s enough monster action to keep things lively, the characters aren’t annoying (the thief played by Toho regular Akira Takarada is pretty cool), and there’s some thrills as the main characters fight the Red Bamboo. Throw in Mothra as well as a giant condor which fights Godzilla for no reason, and you’ve got Saturday matinee monster movie fun. Which means there’s plenty for Joel and the Bots to riff on! Monster fights? “This is why pet owners should have their pets neutered,” says Crow, followed by plenty of “Yo Mama” jokes between Godzilla and Ebirah. And when the monsters bounce a giant boulder back and forth? Sports jokes! “Pele with the save!” cries Tom. Infant Island population dancing to Mothra? Dance audition and pep rally jokes! “We’ve got spirit yes we do!” they all cry. Mothra’s twin fairies appear? “It’s Haley Mills and Haley Mills in The Mothra Trap!” Joel jokes.
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| Godzilla boiling his own lobster. |
There’s still some of the early seasons’ silliness, like Crow repeating “A planet where apes evolved from men!” anytime characters are seen on a beach, something Joel actually puts a stop to. And there are a few basic “state park” jokes, where they just state something is like something else, as when Tom says the Red Bamboo base is like Get Smart, instead of, say, humming the theme song to it. And some of the Japanese jokes are kind of lame, like during them singing the theme to Gilligan’s Island during a storm, they sing, “If not for the courage of the fearless crew,” Tom adds, “the sushi would be lost.” But there are clever moments, like when we see a run down hut, and Joel says, to the tune of Talking Heads’ Once in a Lifetime, “You may find yourself one day living in a shogun shack.”
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| I hope he turned the fan on when he went in there. |
Then there’s the segment Kevin Murphy mentions in the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, where Godzilla sits on a rock and they make a ton of poop jokes. Joel says, “One of you guys mind getting me a magazine? I’m gonna be here a while.” It’s childish and immature and hilarious. While there aren’t a ton of laugh-out-loud jokes throughout the entire episode, there’s little of the early seasons’ awkwardness, and their delivery is refined, rapid-fire, sharp, and snappy. And I like the main characters in this, so watching the movie with Joel and the Bots is like being on a wacky island adventure that also includes Godzilla! Talk about a good time!
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| Tom and Crow and a celebrity cameo. |
That sense of fun continues in the skits. Joel, getting a little space fever, uses found objects on the SOL to make miniature replicas of world famous monuments. Tom and Crow make fun of the twin fairies and pray to Mothra, only for him (voiced by Mike Nelson) to show up! But the true standout is the Godzilla Genealogy Bop, which recounts Godzilla’s origin, “It started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released / Oh, like baby alligators and other nasty beasts?” and chronicles Godzilla’s descendants, “There’s Kermit the Frog, Swamp Thing, Hulk….” It’s catchy, funny, and one of the show’s best songs. Of all the host segments, only the invention exchange ranks as just okay.
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| I can't help but notice Fin Fang Foom isn't on there. Maybe he's adopted. |
Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster is a fine way to end Season 2. It’s not as great a serving of MST-ified kaiju as the Gamera movies will be, but for a longtime MSTie and Godzilla fan, it’s still a joyous meeting of two worlds that proved all too rare.
Episode in a Riff:
As the island explodes: “Irwin Allen slept here.” -Servo
Random Asides
-I picked this episode to coincide with the release of Godzilla vs. Kong. Why? Because this movie was originally supposed to feature King Kong and not Godzilla! It’s true! You can read about the entire unmade version here.
-As a G fan, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster is good for riffing, but there were other, better choices that would’ve made even better episodes. Godzilla’s Revenge is often considered the worst in the series, as it’s mostly a clip-movie focusing on a talking version of Godzilla’s son appearing in a little boy’s dream, but I would’ve loved to have seen Joel and the Bots deal with the psychedelic insanity of Godzilla vs. Hedorah (aka Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster).
-The scenes used in the Film Ventures International clips at the beginning are from another good contender for a riffable movie, Son of Godzilla.
-I love Joel reading the Velveteen Rabbits to the Bots. It’s such a dad thing he would do.
-“I’m thoroughly enchanted. Now get to the invention exchange!” I’m thoroughly enchanted too, Dr. F.
-I think the invention exchanges are fine, but I do really like Joel’s addendum to his self-playing guitar, that, “All I gotta do is add appropriate facial grimaces”
-I like how they don’t even have real guitar sounds, just keyboard.
-I also enjoy how, after the Mads play their squeeze toy guitars, there are dogs barking in the background.
-They take a long time getting to the theater, entirely missing the movie’s title, leading to the running gag of them wondering what the title even is. It’s more awkward than funny, and I can see why they don’t repeat the gag again.
-There’s a moment when Joel and the Bots begin singing György Ligeti’s Requiem, famously used in 2001: A Space Odyssey, and re-used for Godzilla 2014.
-I like seeing the contest entry letters in the letters at the end, especially the Bot Mobile and the cool M.C. Escher-esque drawing.
-I was a little unsure about Mike Nelson voicing Mothra, until I realized this is the same Mothra from Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster, which is a male, so it’s fine. Yes, of course I noticed these details.
-I also noticed the drawing of Godzooki in the Genealogy Bop’s flow chart is clearly Minya from Son of Godzilla colored green.
-Akira Takarada’s name is misspelled as “Akira Akarada” in the Film Ventures credits.
-Joel losing it in host segment 3 and asking after his copy of The Fountainhead while crying out, “Howard Roark, oh, Howard!” is one of those random moments that has stuck with me.
-Tom, as the Bots destroy Joel’s models: “This is for his own good right? Okay woo!”
-Speaking of, that whole segment of him going space crazy makes it seem that maybe, just a little, being stuck in space watching bad movies wouldn’t always be a grand ol’ time.
-I like the look Joel gives the Bots when they say they were just visited by Mothra.
-The documentary short on the making of the Shout! Documentary extras about Ballyhoo Motion Pictures and it’s founder / director Daniel Griffith is a lot of fun and a great extra.
-Since this episode will probably never be on DVD, I’m glad Shout! Included the host segments on the Vol 39 DVD set. So, as the saying goes, keep circulating the tapes. Or the MP4s.
Additional Links
Come in, Batwoman...
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| She fights crime, just not well. |
In
the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, Trace Beaulieu says of The Wild, Wild
World of Batwoman, “We take no small amount of pride, however, in the fact
that the movies that hurt us the most are inevitably the ones that our dear,
sweet, loyal fans get the most satisfaction from. I hope this one is as
enjoyable to watch as it was painful to riff on.” I’m not sure I can introduce
this episode any better: pure hilarity and pure pain.
What roughly 30% of the movie is like.
Batwoman
is wild only in the sense of incomprehensibility. There’s sort-of a story, but
parsing what it is in-between the pitiful audio recording, the poorly directed
scenes, and the shots of random women dancing took repeated viewings, including
this most recent one. There’s a woman named Batwoman, who has a bevy of girls
in her employ used to fight crime. “Angels, you’re going undercover with Adam
West,” Mike says to that. There’s a scientist who needs his atomic hearing aid,
yes, atomic hearing aid, protected before it falls into the wrong hands.
There’s an evil villain and his henchmen, including a mad scientist, out to get
it. Servo booms, “To destroy Miracle Ear and rule the world!” There’s a lot of
padding with women dancing. There are scenes lifted from other films, including
El Santo movies. “It’s like they put a bunch of movies in a blender and pressed
the mix button!” Crow says. I get the feeling the main reason for this movie
was to fool people into paying to see it. It’s like an imitation of a parody rather
than actually being one.
Pictured: hijinks. Not pictures: joy.
If
you can’t tell, Mike and the Bots have a field day with this one. The movie is
bad, no question, but a lot happens, little of it plot, which keeps giving them
things to riff on. The evil scientist invents a happy pill that makes people
go-go dance, leading to a restaurant full of people being drugged into shaking
it. “Have you lost your mind?” one characters asks a drugged on, who responds,
“No!” and Servo adds, “Just my self-respect!” Then there’s the
unbelievable seance scene, where Batwoman attempts to locate the stolen hearing
aid, and conjures up someone speaking in very racist gibberish “Chinese”. “To
every Asian, and every human being, we apologize for that scene,” Mike says. Eventually,
when a henchman warns about Batwoman approaching and they need to initiate
“Plan X-12” or something, Crow just says, “Oh, stop pretending there’s a plot.
Don’t cheapen yourself further.” Yet, despite how bad the movie is, the crew’s
riffing, even as the movie starts to get to them, stays strong. This is one of those experiments
that just punishes the SOL crew, and a lot of humor comes from that, like the
bots pleading for the merciful release of death the longer it goes on.
Carnival of Cheating Souls
And
while the riffing of the movie is good, what makes this episode truly a classic
is the fantastic short it starts with. Cheating is one of the all-time
greats, a warning for elementary and middle-school children about the dangers
of cheating done in the style and horror of a German Expressionist film. Johnny
uses his friend Mary to get help cheating on a test, and is haunted and
punished for it. His teacher’s head floats in the darkness above him as he
tries to sleep, prompting screaming from Tom Servo. When his cheating is
exposed and his place on student council threatened during a special meeting one
of his council members tells is about him, Mike says, “They’re hanging you in
effigy.” And as Johnny stalks the dark, parents-less corridors of his home,
Crow opines, “Jeez, this kid could freak out Jame Gumb.” The SOL crew have a
habit of going dark on the shorts, and when the short goes dark with them, its
like peanut butter and chocolate. The joy for the short spreads to all the host
segments, following Mike as he leads the bots in a discussion on cheating and
then Crow’s trial after he plagiarizes Gypsy’s essay. It leads through the
entire series of host segments and caps off with a great punch line. But it
says something about their interests that they focus on the short over the
movie.
Tom, going full witch trial on Crow.
An
all-time bad movie with hilarious riffing plus an all-time great short make for
an all-time great episode. Even though Cheating does outshine the movie, the
constant stream of solid riffing and incomprehensible flick make this one a
classic.
Short
In a Riff
“Now
was this Ingmar Bergman’s first American film?” -Crow
Movie
In a Riff
Crow:
“Mike, I demand that you kill me.”
Servo:
“Me too.”
Mike.
“No, no, no, can’t have much to go… Would you kill me?”
Random
Asides
-Holy shit, the It’s Just a Show podcast was telling the truth, and IMDB.com confirmed it: Cheating was directed by Herk Harvey, director of Carnival of Souls. Explains a LOT. However I disagree with their assessment that this is a mixed-bag episode, however.
- God knows what kind of skits they could’ve done based on it, though. Nonsensical dance parties, maybe?
-I love the crappy six year old’s painting of a bat above Batwoman’s fireplace.
-This is only Mike’s third episode, and he’s still doing Joel kinda stuff like playing cards with the bots and leading them in a discussion on cheating. But his riffing needs no work: it’s quick-witted and well delivered.
-It’s Just a Show also goes a good deal in depth into director Jerry Warren. To sum up his directorial ambitions, I’ll just quote Attack of the the Eye Creatures: “They just didn’t care.”
-Frank’s atomic hair dryer is a fun invention, especially how Dr. F’s hair turns out and Frank’s reaction to it.
-Mike is still doing inventions, and the Razorback is an… okay one. It’s just a big shaver for your back. The Bots’ body hair shaming is fun, though.
-Servo’s screaming “STONE HIM!” at Crow’s cheating has stuck with me for years.
-I like the look on Mike’s face as he realizes he’s stuck babysitting lunatics.
-Remember: cheating is bad. Richard Basehart is good.
Additional Links
Oh my God, he can talk!
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| The greatest act next to close-up magic. |
HURRY, HURRY, HURRY! Come to Stoney Martin’s Carnival! THRILL at Markov the Magnificent and his talking chimp, Alexander the Great! SHRIEK in despair at Kirk, the tiger trainer, jealous of Markov and Alex’s success! GASP in terror at the nefarious scientist out to capture Alex! SWOON with Stoney’s tomboy daughter Bud as she falls for publicist David! DELIGHT at Bud’s struggle to get Stoney to see her as anything but his little girl! WONDER why a talking chimp says little of anything interesting! QUESTION why a kid’s movie has so many melodramatic subplots! And most of all, LAUGH as Jonah and the bots have a field day with it all!
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| Come for the fun, stay for the soul-sucking evil. |
Rarely does a movie provide as much for the MST3K treatment as Carnival Magic. Aside from being a low-budget family-friendly movie about a talking chimp (or at least about a magician with a talking chimp), it does and doesn’t follow through on that premise. Alex barely says anything beyond grunts and people’s names. “Oh my God, he can talk!” Bud says when she first hears Alex speak. “Well, kinda,” Crow counters. Now, there is a story, but mostly it’s just things happening, with plenty of padding throughout. During a moment when Stoney and David strut around the carnival gloating in their success, Crow asks, “Really fun seeing you meander all through the carnival, very neighborly… What does this have to do with anything?” To which Tom follows up with, “I know! Even Alejandro Iñárritu would have called cut by now! Bah!” Then there are the tonal inconsistencies, as the movie switches between scenes like Markov’s chimp-and-magic act, and Markov and Stoney having a heart to heart about Bud becoming a woman, a very heartfelt scene, during which Tom wonders, “Hey, wasn’t there a talking chimp in this movie?” And did I mention other aspects such as the bizarre soundtrack choices? The moment where Bud first meets Alex the talking chimp is scored with this surprisingly dour piano music, prompting Jonah to ask, “Is it just me, or is this scene supposed to feel like a hopeful autopsy?” Then there’s the setting: a low-rent carnival. As the movie shows footage from atop the Ferris wheel, Jonah barks, “Ride the great sky wheel, where you’ll have a god’s-eye view of everything from the burnt-out JC Penny’s, to Derrick’s mom’s above ground pool!" Oh, and while this thing was filmed in 1980, it still just reeks of the ‘70s, MST’s favorite decade to riff on (see: Avalance, The Incredible Melting Man). This movie is so ‘70s it leaves an aftertaste, like the smell of your grandma’s cigarettes mixed with cheap, stale beer, and the taste of those orange foamy circus peanut candies mingled with the reek of dirty hay and caged animal musk. At the end of one of Markov’s magic acts, Crow says, “Thank you, you trashy ‘70s people.”
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| My favorite things: chimps and '70s' fashions. |
I legitimately find this movie fascinating. Like Zardoz, I half-love it for what it’s intended to be, and am half-incredulously fascinated by how wrong it goes. I like the performances of the cast, and some of the more melodramatic scenes can be downright heartfelt. But, they’re sandwiched between broad talking chimp antics. It is right up there with Cry Wilderness, Santa Claus, and the other weirdest, most batshit movies MST3K has covered. Part of that is due to its director, Al Adamson, a man known for his drive-in films like Blood of Ghastly Horror and The Naughty Stewardesses, here doing his only work as a director-for-hire. With its mixed-up childish and melodramatic tones, strange soundtrack choices, low-rent, carny filled cast, and yellow-and-brown 70s grime, the only person I can see this movie being intended for is a prepubescent Tom Waits.
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| He can drive, perform magic, and run over old ladies. |
A good movie, it is not. But, it is a perfect movie for MST3K, because one thing you cannot say about Carnival Magic is that it’s boring. Tonally inconsistent? Completely. Absurd? Absolutely. But boring? Oh, far from it! Something new and weird happens every 15 minutes, from magic tricks, to grimy carnies grifting, to a talking monkey stealing a car with a woman asleep in the backseat and leading the cops in a high speed chase. Does that lead to a new plot development? No! Does it fill time until another barely related, uncomprehendingly placed scene begins? Yes! And holy cow, does that make this movie perfect riffing fodder. And not only that, but the Jonah era may be the perfect iteration to handle it. There’s some of the silliness of the Joel times without letting the movie run roughshod over them, and enough of the Mike seasons’ sarcasm without it becoming a bitter hatefest. There’s appreciation for off-kilter entertainment from Jonah without forgiving the movie it’s faults. This movie is bad, and they do not let it get the best of them, nor let opportunities for great quips pass by. One the one hand, this means the movie fails to torment them, which can be fun, as in episodes like Hobgoblins. On the other, better side, this means the jokes are strong and frequent. These aren’t just “this is dumb” jokes; these are in-depth riffs that get into the fabric of the movie and unravel it, while also pulling at the sincere, incomprehensible artistry that went into weaving it together.
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| Watch as he destroys your sense of self-worth! |
And the riffing enthusiasm they have spreads to the host segment skis. They’re not all time greats, mind you, but Servo’s carnival is a treat, as he paints Crow’s version of Alex the talking chimp as a marvelous let down, and describes Jonah’s Markov as a supremely condescending magician. We also get guest star Mark Hamill as P.T. Mindslap, ringleader of the Great Space Circus, who sings a song about all the things that go on at his circus, which may not even be happening and it’s just a ruse. It won’t join the all-time great MST hits, but Hamill is always a treat (and was one of the backers for the show’s return!) Meanwhile, Kinga is forcing a marriage proposal onto Jonah in a bid for ratings: “Jonah, I’m just a megalomaniacal girl standing in front of a kidnapped boy, asking him to love her, or she will shut off his oxygen.” It’s interesting seeing the show dabble in longer plotlines after the Sci-Fi era forced it on the show back in the late 90s, but here it’s far less intrusive and mainly serves to give Felicia Day some good moments. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Mads’ invention: a sports drink that flavors your sweat! Mm-hm, pumpkin pie!
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| Applause! |
I feel ashamed it took me so long to see, let alone review, an episode as good as this. Carnival Magic is an all-time great experiment, with a truly, interestingly bad movie that provides plenty of joke fodder, and an SoL crew at the top of their game. Any fan, serious or casual, owes it to themselves to check this one out again and again.
Episode in a riff:
My hat’s off to the filmmaker. He’s created an incredible simulation of being at a really crummy carnival. -Crow
Random Asides:
-The history behind this movie, how it was seemingly lost for almost 30 years, is a fascinating read. Check it out here.
-I’m gonna be blunt: I don’t find chimps amusing. I think they’re a terrifying evolutionary mirror to some of our worst traits. I don’t think they’re cute, nor entertaining. Interesting and intelligent? Yes. Cute? Nope! Smaller monkeys and the peaceful gorillas are where it’s at.
-I had to limit myself to one Tom Waits reference for this review. It was hard.
-I also love Kinga’s other explanation of her forced engagement to Jonah, “... to set a million fan-fic shippers typing”
-The looks on Kinga and Max’s faces as they drink their flavor sweat slays me.
-Boy, imagine the Tiger King jokes they’d have given Kirk the tiger trainer if this was a few years later
-Man, some of the people in this movie are acting their hearts out, especially Jennifer Houlton as Ellen/Bud.
-Why does nobody question why girl is asleep in back of an unlocked car? Does it just seem natural for a carnival in the ‘70s?
-Was there a thing in the ‘70s about not buttoning your goddamn shirt?
-The guy in purple seen in video behind Kinga and Max at the end is the show’s art director Matt Mcginnis
-I like PT Mindslap describing his show as “Neil Gaiman-esaue”
-Of the few bits of Jonah and the bots’ silhouettes interacting with the movie, my favorite is about 69 minutes in when, as the music sounds like the tunes of an ice cream truck, Crow and Servo run off screen to get imaginary ice cream.
-Grunkle Stan’s grifter carnival in Gravity Falls was more polished than this.
-”We’ve seen so many troubling things today, Kinga.” Very true, Max.
Additional Links
It's Just a Show podcast on this episode
